WordPress Family

Posted: December 4, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Y’all are my cyber family. If you didn’t know, now you do. I take every single blog I follow seriously. I don’t arbitrarily follow a blog. And i don’t automatically follow you if you like or comment on my blog. I WILL go over to your blog, read it, and like or comment on a post – again not arbitrarily. My feedback is genuine but its also very thorough.

So i haven’t had time to do it since i started my seasonal job.   Yes, I’m only part time but as a temp/newbie we get the odd hours. Been working mostly closing ( late nights) but they do things like have you work closing one night then opening the next day. Throw in commuting time and it’s a job where appearance prep is involved ( shower, hair, makeup). There is only so many hours in a day.

I have been neglecting the new additions to my wordpress family but not on purpose and it’s not my usual style! Firstly, I’ve been getting SO many spam comments, i only published a hand few of them. Its so hard to tell who is real and who is spam or an advertising blog aka not real. So if your one of those spam comments i read and your reading this and you are in fact real, please drop me a line to let me know.

I don’t want any new followers to think that’s how i treat my cyber family( with neglect).  I’m sorry folks, that’s not me. But since I actually pop over and READ what you are writing, undivided attention and all,  I haven’t had the time to do so.  But today, i went through MY followers and my likes and comments on both my blogs and popped over to your pages and followed you back if you followed me days( weeks) ago. Sorry it’s taken me awhile. But i chucked my old process of meticulously going through a persons blog reading as many entries as far back as i can get before i follow. I clicked around and read a few but i decided if you took the time of day for me than i can do the same for you. So i followed you all back after a quick pop over. I don’t like the lack of WP time i have. Just know everyday when i come home from work I check my reader. I read if I can, but i mostly skim and get a gist of what the blog is talking about. And on my days off I go BACK and make my rounds to your past blogs to reread everything and thoroughly. I read them all even  if it may take me a few days! If i don’t like or comment, sorry. I try too. I almost always do. And when i do leave feedback, I try my best to make it personal.  My previous followers, and now you new followers please be assured that I honestly take interest and time to be there for your cyber tellings

Cause like i said ya’ll are my family.

What I’m really trying to say is if your reading this in your reader, then you are in MY reader. Which means i read your blogs thoroughly. Every entry. And i take it all personal. I emphasize and look forward to each lovely blog i read. Even though I haven’t been updating much… you all are. I worry and wonder about my WP friends in my very real life.

So today it’s with great grief to learn about the untimely death of a lovely young lady I followed here on WP. I thought about it and to respect the mourning space of her blog and her family and friends I have not linked it.  (Please don’t go looking through my blog roll for it either. You wont find her in the comments and I’ve never shared her page in a past blog entry)

This young lady,  i found her blog and followed her when i started my diet blog and it’s been a surreal experience just reading her story ( as it has been with other blogs I follow too). She was diagnosed with a rare type cancer and suffered many trials and tribulations yet, from reading her words, she had a fiery spirit with unyielding happiness and positivity .  I literally had very little communication with her, she would post her blogs and that was that, very rarely comment back to anyone. But still, i felt connected following this very real person for all this very real time like i do with all the blogs in my reader. If you are touched and grieved please feel free to take a moment to send her family and friends consoling thoughts or prayers, they would appreciate it very much.

Since my blogging family is on my mind, I think I’m finally going through with this. I started to write this letter and then stopped so many times i lost count.  A blogger here on wordpress has a challenge going on. This is the link to her blog and all credit and acknowledgement goes here.

This particular challenge is called “ A Letter To a Ghost”
The challenge is simply to write a letter to someone that is gone from your life. They dont have to be deceased. It’s up to your interpretation.

Dear my former blogging sister,

I remember when we first found each other here in cyber space, opposite sides of the real world. I thought I was wasting my time blogging into nothingness and you were brand new with you own blog. Once we followed each other i knew every post i had you would pop over and read it and comment in length and I looked forward to your daily blogs. I can’t remember the last time i bonded with someone over cyberspace. And we were such like minded! I would always anticipate your blogs and eagerly comment and welcome your comments knowing it would be honest and true.

Then things started to change in my real world life. My world was flipping upside down and I was trying so hard to put it back right side up and wordpress really became my solace, my place of peace to get lost in not only your stories but everyone else i follow. Then i finally got the job. With that came so much anxiety and fear… and worry … for the unknown.. with concern about my dad and fiance and doggie being left home alone. It was all consuming. Then, Hurricane Sandy hit and that really knocked me on my but with the travesty i witnessed in neighboring towns and to family.  Before i knew it i was swept up in hostess role , my household becoming a refugee center for family with 6 additions of people plus animals.

While chatting with you about needing a release with my writing but cannot write freely cause of the possibility family might be reading… that’s when it happened. You were urging me, offering to make me new blog and all, to write freely.

Then before i knew it you were telling me things change and this was goodbye.

I was scratching my head for weeks wondering what i did.But, you wanted me to write uninhabited and not hold back and so I am. To you.

I was hurt. I shed actual tears.  I spent so much time and effort into your sharings. My poured my soul into faithfully   supporting your blog and thoughts.

I still am hurt.

I tried to think if i said something, or did something or missed something and the only conclusion i can make is you misunderstood my hesitance about starting a new blog. I was so very touched about your offer for a new blog, but i didn’t know with all the uncertainty in my life, especially with that of being hired for a new job. I didn’t know anything.  That’s all i meant. I wasn’t rejecting your concern or dismissing your help. I said thank you didn’t i? I said i appreciate you and your support very much didn’t i?

So now its been nearly a month and the hurt isn’t gone, but the wound is scabbed over now. I admit there is anger too. Where you angry that day and  I was the target? I guess lack of communication about it is what really drives me crazy…adding more uncertainty to my thoughts.

I haven’t searched through new blogs  , browsed through tags, since this happened. I didn’t want to get attached to anyone else again to have it ripped away, again.  I live everyday  with fear in the back of mind and heart  that my hubby will be ripped away from me due to his cancer.

As you know, i try to live my life with nothing but happiness and positivity. WordPress has now become a integral part of that. Yet now when i log into wordpress and see your posts it just weighs heavy on me.  I tried to ignore them at first. So many times i wanted to respond to a post and i had to ex the screen out cause i knew my reply would not be welcomed. I emailed and asked if you wished for me to unfollow your blog and never received an answer. I hovered over the unfollow bottom countless times. But, I could never click the unfollow button.

But you have said goodbye, so now it is time for my goodbye.

I thank you for the commitment to my blog and your support and advice. There were days when life was tough and your feedback or conversation or even just getting lost in your long blog posts really saved me from going mad.

I do not know why we stopped being blogging sisters.

But i guess it really doesn’t matter now does it? It’s gone , erased, into infinite cyber space.

With my best regards and love
Tash

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Comments
  1. […] to simply reblog it  cause I wanted to add a little health related information to this blog. So  here is the link to my personal blog’s latest entry( though most of you already follow that blog […]

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  2. Rose Chimera says:

    For the record, I too take every blog that I follow seriously. I don’t feel inclined to follow every blog that I’ve read. My reader would be endlessly crowded with “stuff” that I’m not all that interested in reading. Neither do I feel obligated to follow someone’s blog if they’ve “like” a post of mine. I want to know what they liked about it! If someone comments on my blog I feel that they took time to read and to comment, the fair thing to do is to hop over and browse their blog. I may or may not follow based on whether I found it interesting. I also comment on blogs and never opt to just “like” a blog. I give what I want I guess. I little feedback. As for this “thing” with Tilda, I’m sorry about that. Could it have been a misunderstanding? Miscommunication? I hope its repairable in some form. She too was one of the first people to follow my blog and like you she gave me helpful insights or comments. Alas things do change…sometimes we have no control over those changes. We hit the ball and move on, that’s all we can do.

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    • Rose thank you for stopping by my blog and taking the time! I’m glad to read I’m not the only one who is attached to their followers. I know I’m 100% forthcoming with my life and sharing with my blogs so i assume everyone else is too. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Which is why i choose to be dedicated to the more smaller and personal blogs.

      And was it that obvious who i was writing too? I tried to keep it vague about who i was talking to in the letter in respect for her anonymity and peace of her blog space. Which is why i debated about even writing the letter to begin with… i wanted to write the letter and express myself but with good intentions for myself to get it out, you know. And i never wanted to stop talking to her/following her blog so that door is open on my side.

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      • Rose Chimera says:

        I am forthcoming with my readers….or my writings…as well. I’m writing under a pseudonym so I can be. I too expect others to be writing the same way, with somewhat same purpose. But I know I’m wrong. I can only view things from my perspective.
        I like the smaller blogs because those folks seem to be writing to themselves. They, like me, welcome all feedback. The LARGE blogs seem to be too commercial for me. If that’s even an appropriate term. When they have over 1k followers they are writing to market it seems. I can get that crap from the TV or magazines. It becomes impersonal to me so I’m not interested.
        Was it obvious who you were writing to? I don’t know. I just KNEW though. I saw something on T’s blog that referenced you which is how I bounced to your blog. I know her via the blogging world and maybe you mentioned her name in your writing. I can’t remember off the top of my head how I knew who you were writing about. I’m sorry. Was it a reference you made? Did you write her name? Was it intuition? I’m sorry to admit I just don’t remember or know how I knew it was her you were talking about.
        It is my opinion and feeling that if she has offended you she would want to make it right. If she hurt your feelings, that wouldn’t set well with her. If she misunderstood something you did or said she would want it clarified and then she’d want to explain herself as well as she would listen to your explanation. That is just my perspective of her ok? It seems you have a deeper more personal connection with T then I do. So my impression, thoughts are based on MY interaction with her.

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    • I understand completely what you mean. WP and spam comments keep urging me to add plug ins and photos and do this and do that to increase traffic to my blog. But, i don’t want to. I want a person to read my entry and FEEL something. If they like it. Awesome. If not, that’s okay too. Sure I would like more readers and more feedback. It’s nice to know my words are reaching some one. But, it’ll come when it’ll come. I have wonderful followers and commentators like yourself. While they may not always comment here on my blog they’ll drop me a line via email or face book of if they know me in real life then I’ll get a text message or phone call. I’m an aspiring author but already I have doubts about pursuing that. I’m not into the whole publicity and campaigning. I’ll be happy if ONE person buys my book an it changed their life and helped them in some way. Just knowing my words reach ONE person… it’s worth it all.

      As for T, i feel so bad about writing this letter now. I didn’t mean to make it all public and put her on the spot or anything. I did know we share some readers here on WP. But i didn’t think anyone would connect the two. I just wanted to express myself in spirit of the challenge and I felt like a weight was lifted one i wrote it. ANd i don’t think i know her better or less than any other of her WP friends. I just know personally for me I poured my heart into her blogs and since she pours her heart into writing them.. i felt her blog was one of my favorites here in our corner of the word press world. Its kind of the community center in our little part of the world press world. I followed people that commented on her blogs. Some of her followers followed me. There was one time when we discovered we both followed the same blog… without being referred there or seeing that persons comment on each others blog. When i think of her blog i just think of it as the community center where we can all intermingle.

      I just shot her an email. So we’ll see what happens.

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      • Rose Chimera says:

        I don’t know anything about plugins. I don’t even allow them in my internet provider. Plugins come with problems, slow down the computer, virus, convoluted maneuverings. Ugh…
        I guess I write for myself but secretly I want to MOVE people or at the very least let them know I know how “it” feels. Or that their words impacted me in some way.
        To get more readers, well that comes with obligation doesn’t it? To produce, to entertain, to keep writing to feed that machine. I have readers but I think they are ones I have connected with for one reason or another. They are less than 100 and I’m ok with that. I didn’t’ start a blog for anyone other than me anyway. And Yes, just reaching ONE person, impacting them and their life is what its all about, at least to me. Knowing, by way of feedback, that I touched someone by writing about my own experiences makes it almost all worthwhile!
        I don’t think you made the letter all “public” Its not on a bulletin board. I just happen to follow her blog and stumbled across yours. I connected the dots. I remain convinced that most won’t. Its your thoughts, your feelings that you posted. You cannot apologize for having a reaction to something. That would make you inhuman and unfeeling. It is what it is. As far as connecting the two…well I gotta tell you I’m used to looking at the details, reading between the lines, ferreting out the truth. I worked for an attorney for 15 years. So I know there’s always his side, her side and the truth. Perhaps I view things, read things differently than many if not most, others.
        You were not on my “reader” list. So we didn’t share that. It may in fact have been a comment T made that lead me to your blog.
        I have noticed also that people I follow tend to follow the same blogs I do. Or if I see the same person showing up on blogs I’m reading and find impactful for whatever reason. I hop to their blog, find them worthy and follow them. They are like minded in one way or another like me.
        You sent an email. If you get no response. Leave it alone. If you get a response read it and process it. I truly hope it works out. I know you’ve been hurt there and I’m sorry. Just know that sometimes in life we can be oil and vinegar. It doesn’t mean anything other than that. Oil and vinegar don’t mix!

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      • Rose Chimera says:

        One other point, I get people who seem so random that follow my blog. I don’t know who they are, they’ve never ever commented on a thing I’ve written and I have no clue how they even found my blog. Just know its a whole wide world out there in the blogging sphere. You’ll do fine if you keep writing. Write every day and you will build your reader base. Hey, that’s what I tell myself ok? So if I’m telling myself that I’m going to offer it to you too! 🙂

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      • Thank you Rose for all you feedback and I appreciate your words so much! You secret desires to move people have been accomplished today with your words to me 🙂

        I love your outlook on writing/blogging and your personality. I aspire to have that same perspective. I’ve had my personal blog ( this one) for quite some time and I’ve took years sabbaticals from writing. BUt when i started my Diet Blog, i had accountability to myself and then i started getting faithful followers and i felt i owed it to them too. Writing for an audience is great for the soul. I love blogging and I hope to grow and learn from all of this, and all yet to come.

        T and I have been emailing and I apologized and wrote a follow up blog as well. So things are looking bright on that front.

        I’m off to work now but on my next day off I would like to take a look around your blog and follow you if you dont mind.

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  3. C. R. says:

    Tash, I am pretty well connected in this cyber world of ours and have many people that I have apparently touched in some way over the years without knowing so. It’s always amazing and overwhelming when I find these things out because truth be told the words I read from others have a warm place in my heart because the internet has allowed us to see the human side in us all. It’s easy to forget we all laugh, we all cry, we all bleed.

    Unfortunately I have also learned the hard way years ago that words on a screen are open to the interpretation of what I call someones “mood of the moment”…the one writing, the one reading, and then the one responding…no amount of “thank yous”, smilies, or any other kind of disclaimer will truly convey what we intend. Words on paper (or on a screen) create “theater of the mind” to those reading. We make up our own movies out of these words, whose ending are often not the endings we thought we wrote, or meant to write.

    Keep on writing, keep on blogging, keep on sharing, and keep on caring and know…you now have another WP family member in me.

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  4. C. R. says:

    Aww schucks m’am thank you :p anytime. I will be a visitor here just as I hope you will stop in at my place lol and if you want to reach me that’s always easy enough cherispeakblog@yahoo.com

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  5. Howdy, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam responses? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help is very much appreciated.

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    • dietriotgirl says:

      Hey there! I get SO many spam comments as well. I cant tell if some people are real or fake. Like your comment was in my spam box. But i just let them through most of the time. I just trash anything with links, sex names or dating sites links or when you hover over the personal’s name and no image pops up I’m aware probably 90% of the spam comments I let through are advertising blogs and/or spam. But i let them through anyways cause you never know. I can always go back and delete them later on. I don’t know of any plugin to stop spam, sorry!

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