Lies ( Swift Expression Blogging Challenge)

Posted: December 17, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Kicking off the second Challenge in the Swift Expression Blogging Challenge Series, this Challenge is about lies.  In this challenge we are asked when ( if ever) it is okay to lie.

Not to sound all Doctor house buttttt

house

Yes, I believe everybody lies.

I do.
liar
I’m not a liar. I don’t believe in lying. But, i can’t sit here and tell you I have never lied and I don’t lie.
Let me explain.

When asked how are you? We all respond “okay” , “fine” , “not too bad”. However, we never answer honest and truly. I never respond “I’m a mess”. No, i smile and say “hanging in there, how bout yourself?”

I don’t purposely lie. No, I don’t believe in lying to a person’s face and I don’t believe in saying anything ( truth or lie) behind someone’s back.  If my opinion and thoughts are asked for then i will disclose them. But, I cannot honestly and truly say  I never lie.

There is even the type of  lies when someone asks you how does this look? You dont outright said “stupid”, instead you find a tactful way of letting them know it’s probably not their style. Or when a friend breaks up with their boyfriend and you tell them ‘they’re loss” which very well may be true butttt many factors led up to that but its not your place to say so or you weren’t asked. That still is a lie. I’m known for telling my friends ” i think its a bad idea, but i support you” and i’ve lost many friends for being “honest’ and not lying to them about their bad ideas or ventures or choices… not judging… just told them from the start how i felt and asked them to think about it. Cause i believe in this:
hurttruth
Now, you don’t have to be outright mean about it, hurt the person, or all I-told-you-so. Show consideration and compassion, which i do. I believe a true friend will tell you anything be it good or bad… not just be your own personal cheerleader.

And then there is the whole “appearance” aspect of common communication and interaction with others. Some people simply cannot tell the truth.

lies n truth

We then have to sort through the “truth” and determine which are the lies.

truthlies

Some people are so concerned about appearance and presentation they exaggerate to make themselves seem ideal.  In others words they lie through their teeth. Lie about everything and anything. They may lie to seem like they have self confidence and self esteem but really are tremendously insecure.  Maybe they want to project this success and perfect image of themselves and are embarrassed about what their lot in life really is?

I don’t get that. I would have much more respect for you if you just came to me upfront.

A fellow blogger wrote a post about Secrets and i shared a story of a secret, a lie, that i keep everyday. I smoke. My parents do not know. Never have. Hopefully never will. I quit many times. The longest was just over a year ( through the bulk of my hubby’s sickness though i quit before any of that happened). I get great grief over smoking ciggys after witnessing cancer and my hubby having Cancer. But, he was actually the one to tell me to pick up smoking again and quit when I was ready.  Before his cancer, he never smoked , never did drugs and rarely drank. Which was ironic cause he was judged by his appearance ( long hair, biker look, covered in tattoos). Everyone looked at him and saw trouble and druggie, yet he was so straight edged. He felt a big black whole of regret about that. He told me life is too short- have my vices now when we’re young.

But like i said , my parents do not know.  I just smoke in secret. Family events? I go without smoking.. or walk away and hide. But about this? If they ask me I’m borderline of flat out lying and telling the truth. My reason for keeping this secret , this lie? I don’t want to be judged.  I’m the “black sheep” of my family. Everything i do is never enough, never good enough.  I graduated with honors in high school went to college yet still that wasn’t enough. I didn’t have a job. Now. I have a seasonal job but instead of seeing that a step into the job field it’s “JUST” a seasonal job yet my job is more strenuous and labor work than all of the working members of my family put together. I asked for a ride this Saturday coming up cause I’m scheduled til 1230AM but it is not likely to be let out exactly on time.. more like 1AM and buses stop running regularly at midnight.  I was told to take a cab or something. There is always something. So if the cat was let out of the bag about my smoking? I would never hear the end of it. I’m even turning publicity off for this post as to not link to my facebook where family members may be able to see this. The lie is more for my peace of mind than anyone’s benefit.

I guess what I’m trying to say i only believe in lying when its to protect yourself from judgement. I don’t believe in lying in general, white lies, or lies to not hurt another person’s feelings. You can be honest and open yet still find a way to tell the truth. But, no one deserves to be judged. No one deserves to be mistreated. If telling a lie will protect yourself from that, like me with my family and their negative treatment, then i think that is the right thing to do.

judegd

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Comments
  1. One can state part of the truth out of context, knowing that without complete information, it gives a false impression. Likewise, one can actually state accurate facts, yet deceive with them. To say “Yeah, that’s right, I ate all the white chocolate, by myself,” utilizing a sarcasm that is a form of assertion by ridiculing the fact(s) implying the liar believes it to be preposterous.

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