Look into Your Eyes ( Swift Expression Blogging Challenge)

Posted: December 17, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

For this Challenge you are supposed to take a look into the mirror. In good daylight and with a full view of your face. Look at your reflection straight on in the eyes. Say three times I am a good person. Share about your experience.

eye
I’ve done this before. Alot. So i felt a little bit like a cheater.  For the last challenge series in the “Guilt” challenge i wrote about i view guilt as a “karma check”.  Well, i do this mirror exercise periodically for sort of an emotional/spiritual karma check. I believe if you can wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror and not advert your eyes and shy away then you are doing alright. If you are ashamed of yourself  then something is very wrong.

Plus, i believe our eyes are a window to our soul. My spirit is very deer to me and as free spirit individual it often is stifled in today’s world. Between the pressure to conform and my “hippy dreams” in a capitalist cold cruel world, I often feel hopeless and lost and overwhelmed. Even going to work my little seasonal job, i feel a tiny piece of my soul screaming in agony everyday. I enjoy work and my co-workers and customers, but still its not what i want to do. I miss my passions, I miss my hubby and doggie and i long for them when I’m gone. Countless times throughout the day i stop to check by my feet expecting to see my doggie wagging her tail or i turn to my right to share a joke or comment with my hubby and he is not there. It may sound over dramatic, but i truly cherish every minute with them, i do not take it for granted. I yearn for more meaningful work and more quality time with my loved ones and my passions. As i walk to my workplace i feel my soul pulling me back and when i return home i fill full and renewed.

I like to periodically look into my eyes to see my spirit and be honest with myself and give her a chance to speak her piece. I look deep into myself. Access myself. What do i see behind those eyes? I so often keep thing bottled up my soul is screaming inside. I’m a  bleeding heart. While i love to write and so often have a way with words, i often keep my emotions locked up.  I write to unload and i do share with the hubby still but so much i still keep inside and my spirit thrashes to rid it.Since meeting my hubby almost 6 years ago it’s MUCH better but ever so often I have to “check” myself in the mirror.

I looked into the mirror today , like so many times before, dead on in the eyes and boldly said the words aloud thrice.  No problem. No hesitation. Honestly the hardest part was finding the privacy to do so. Then that smile came out while I was looking at myself in the eyes. You all the smile. Common. The i’m sexy and I know it smile. The mini photoshoot in your mirror smile. No? Just me? I’m a tad narcissistic , i know. But, i do this every so often too. Look into the mirror and pose. To remind myself I’m beautiful, flaws and all.

Truth be told. I used to have an sparkle in my eye. An honest to God twinkle.

sparkleeye

I remember when i lost the sparkle in my eye. My soul grew weary, grew tired of waiting and went to deep sleep. It was no longer there, ever present in my eyes. That’s when the mirror rituals started. I longed for my sparkle back .

No worry, i got it back( when i met the hubby). But it wasn’t the same big and bold sparkly as that of a pure innocent naive child. I lived and been hurt. The sparkle has dimmed, having been worn down, but it is unyielding and present. I have much reason and love in my life for that sparkle to be there still.

But, every so often i look into the mirror and stare at my eyes with desperation hoping to see my sparkle, hoping i have not lost it again. I never want to loose it again. With life, sometimes its hard to retain that sparkle. But, like i said i have much reason to retain that sparkle. I don’t want to lose it from my own lack of acknowledgement or gratefulness either. I have to “check”.

So today, i looked into the mirror and told myself I am a good person . A rush of relief passed through me and then i looked for the sparkle in my eye and more relief and comfort passed through me as i found it’s profound twinkle. Then the smile spread wide across my face. If my camera was charged, i would have taken pictures of my mirror photo shoot poses.

Next time. 😉

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Comments
  1. C. R. says:

    LOL it’s so good to know I am not alone in mini mirror photo shoot sessions :p

    Like

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