Friday March 22 2013 5pmdear-journal1

Dear Journal

Hey my friend. So I found some stuff out today and accumulation of stress and now I’m just in a mood. Having my quiet time before work drinking coffee isn’t helping. It’s just festering my sour mood.



I spent the morning on the phone with every fucking agency there is. Apparently because Omar has been on disability for two years they automatically enrolled him in Medicare. But, with Medicare it links his disability status to his eligibility for health insurance. We are trying to get Omar OFF of disability! But, sorry folks, there is no cure for cancer for Omar needs his health insurance for routine check ups and MRI’s. Also, it’s a $120 premium for Medicare monthly.  Omar originally applied to Medicaid , being eligible from being low-income.  The government sevearl times switched and automatically enrolled him based on disability and it took forever , and several times the insurance got cut off, to fix it. But, apparently no one knows what we need to do to fix this.

Almost no one declines Medicare. I guess people are content to be on disability indefinitely and have the liberty to go without insurance. I was transferred back and forth to the same agencies and reps who were clueless. No one could tell me if we decline Medicare would it effect the eligibility for Medicaid. It’s just like when they automatically enrolled Omar in a private insurance, TriCare which is military insurance…when Omar has never served in the military! We were eventually told  to call the social security office and talk to them. I bet you a dollar no one knows what the fuck to do.

Then i saw my mother’s bank statement.  $$ ( dollar amount removed for her privacy). I know it’s not THAT much considering they have no savings, 401k or retirement funds. But, it’s alot. More than she is letting on. She complains daily about not having enough money to make the bills. That bank account alone can make the bills for half a year.  So tell me why she is taking money from me AND Omar? That’s cold.  I’ve been trying to save for Bianca’s vet visit and for her to get spayed. That’s almost a grand total. I had 100 saved but then I used it to give my mother part of the rent money.

( Some stuff removed, for mother’s financial privacy, basically was a tally of the monthly bills and money coming in from her check, my dads and rent check from the apartment downstairs and how it pays all the bills, and basically saying the luxury of the new car Omar is paying for, a car WE can’t use)

I’m not asking for handouts. I don’t want money from her. I just hate that greed and money hungry attitude. It’s vile. It’s one of the very few things I can’t tolerate. It’s bullshit frankly.

It’s time to be a little bit selfish.

It is pay day, so I’m going to go hunt down my pay check.
Tash 5:12pm

Okay I’m back. The cash room was closed. So i went to the operator room to pick up my check  but no one was there. The other room where the operator usually works is under construction so I had no idea where they put this girl. I found the poor girl in a tiny office in the back corner of a stock room. Poor girl . I asked her if she gets lonely. She sadly told me yes. Awe.
I opened my check while chit chatting with her and made a face and said ” my little bit of change” and said she said better than no change.

That’s for damn sure. I need to stop complaining. I have a job.  But what else is a diary for, if I can’t fuss a little bit? I have a few minutes before I can clock in and then wait for the meeting. But, Imma go put my stuff in my locker before it gets crowded in here and I loose my seat. Talk soon journal. Twice in one week! That’s getting better right?

Tash  5:47pm

  1. Does she have debts elsewhere that need paying out of that? No idea, just a thought…

    I hate having no money.

    I really hope you can get Omar’s insurance / medical cover sorted. They don’t make anything easy do they…

    Hope you can xx


    • She does have debts but she has everything on payment plans monthly and its incorporated into the monthly bills. The kicker is, my parents plan to sell the house in a few years when my dad is old enough to qualify for government health insurance and with that money they have more than enough to retire on, buy a new house and relocate, pay of their debuts and they plan to even give us kids some starter up money if we choose to not relocate with them. Plus, my mother has just been approved for another loan with a real low monthly payment. There is no need to horde and stack and hide money…especially when its her kids providing that money. I’m not a parent but i would want my kids to save their money and move out but it’s impossible to do when half your check is going to her and the other had for transportation to and from work and a little left over for food expensiveness.


  2. wQueens7 says:

    Sometimes an honest rave is called for!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s