Shit Got Real

Posted: April 20, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My feet thundered up the stairs, still not as loud as the ringing screeching through my ears. Or even the pounding of my heart.

That was all i could hear. Ringing , high-pitched ringing only interrupted by a deep thud thud of my ever-increasing heart beat.

And the desire to flee. With each beat my brain screamed RUN.

My dog was in my arms giving me crazy eyes, but felt my rapid heart beat so stayed tuckered in my arms while I stood dumfounded in my door way.


My vision blurred all I could see was a big mushroom cloud of fiery explosion, like in the action movies when a building is blown up. Big orangery blaze inferno.

I jerked and my brain  yelled GET OUT.

Of course, it hadn’t happened. There was no explosion. Or i wouldn’t still be standing there.  But, it was gunna happen.  It was all i could see. I felt it in my bones.

More ringing in my ears.

More burning orangery haze behind my retinas.

I  placed my dog on the bed and couldn’t even muttered a” stay” I just pointed. For once in her little life, she obeyed.

My ripped my night-shirt off, with the remnants of my nice peaceful day off from work. I hurriedly grabbed the first bra I could and strapped it on. Too panicked to look for clothes i put my night-shirt back on. I grabbed a pair of socks. I had one sock on and one sock poised in position when i hear it.


I stood frozen with one foot in the air, ready to be clothed with the sock.

The sirens grew louder.

I stood still.

Then lights.

I un-froze and dropped the lone sock.

Scooped up my dog and with one sock on and one off and i rushed back down the stairs and look out the window.

My whole block was filled with two fire trucks and one of the fire truck jeeps.  I watched as the closest fire truck the doors opened and extracted from the cab of the truck were firefighters, several of them.

Oddly, like a clown car. I wondered how many were in there and how many could fit in there.


They descended upon my house like angels of retribution.

Shit just got real folks.


Okay, let’s rewind. It was my day off from work, coming to a close. It’s been stressful at work, with Easter right around the corner, and the lack of staff and security breathing down my back with helping them man the fitting room. So I’ve been doing what I have been doing for the past several weeks. Escaping to my books. Just reading. In bed, not doing shit but reading.

When i hear my mother and my dad getting into an argument. I ignore it. Go back to reading. Then 20 minutes my mother is calling for my brother and my hubby to go help my father in the basement, something about a stove.

The boys descend to the basement and i still didn’t move.  About ten minutes later, i figured I better go check on the hubby, since he is the only one that has any common sense and he’s been in a “fix it ” situation with people who don’t have common sense and he may need back up.

I enter the basement to the stove pulled out and being informed there is a gas leak from the stove.

That’s when the ringing in my ears started. I stayed, in the far corner of  the basement as I watched them trace the  specific gas line to the stove. The shut off valve for that particular line was so old and rickety. And rusted shut. I watched as they attempted to turn it.

They were in a dilemma. Try to force it. But have a risk it break. And then we would be up shit’s creak.

I couldn’t take it no more. I ran upstairs and my mother asked me who should she call. I started blabbing ” You need to call somebody!”

She tried all our usual people but none answered the phone. The ringing  in my ears got  louder.

Then she got on the phone with 311 ( NYC’s dispatch number, not the police department but they get you the numbers or people you need or just provide information)

Now, this is where I had a panic attacked and brings us to the beginning of the blog post.

I had a panic attack folks. I freaked the fuck out.

All i could see was big explosions. I swear that was all i could see , hear and FEEL.

All  i needed was to get out. I was going to go. I have no idea where the hell i was going to go. I was just going to go.

But, the fire department came and according to my brother the fire fighter turned the valve ” like slicing butter”. So the gas was shut off. And as quickly as they descended on my house they left.

Everyone was departing back to their assigned parts of the house so it was me who answered the door bell when it rung.

It was the po po.

I was immediately greeted by  a police officer sternly asking if everyone was alright.  Flabbergasted I was answering his very stern and direct questions. They got a call about  a gas leak and came to investigate if everything was resolved and everyone was alright.

When i closed the door after the officer left I finally made it back to my room.

And finally I processed everything that happened.

I was up all night processing what happened. My adrenaline did not leave me until the wee hours of the morning.

The next day, i was upset I had a panic attack. Though,now I can laugh about it. But during? I was swore I was going to die in a horrible inferno.

Well, glad to tell you, I’ll live to live another day and blog another post.


  1. Wicked you are… Almost got me…


  2. Katie Renee says:

    Good Lord, I’d have freaked out too! I would absolutely have been the psycho lady running screaming down the street. You handled it much better than I ever would have! 🙂 I’m sorry about your panic attack though, I know that those are absolutely no fun. Thankfully nothing exploded.


  3. sjoycarlson says:

    This…is…hilarious…. I love the pictures. Especially that running thing GIF.


  4. joegergen says:

    I have panic attacks in my dreams. This was weirder than my dreams. At least I don’t have to worry about putting my bra on, so I guess that’s good.


    • Lol, yes not having to worry about a bra is very good.

      Sorry to read you have panic attacks in your dreams. They are not fun. I used t have terrible night terrors and sleep paralysis. So relieved it stopped after practicing some lucid dreaming. Now, just from life( emergencies in the middle of the night) I am just a light sleeper. Having a little Pomeranian dog sleep on my pillow helps too.


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