writing , writing prompt , writing challengeDay 9 : If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

 

And that’s the million dollar question. I haven’t quite figured it out what I want my dream career to be.

 

I did enjoy working retail. Not so much the crap pay, hours and crappy people. I did love though, being in charge of my department, maintaining inventory, pricing and visuals. It was my own little world. I was the expert. I love redoing whole fixtures,sizing, restocking and refolding shelves creating  master pieces of displays.  I even loved Black Friday, finding and tossing jeans piles at a time to customers in record time. 13414494_10206874252195095_514131368_n

I do love my current job, working in  a day service program with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.  It’s rewarding and gratifying work. It’s heart warming and positive. Everyday, i make a difference and that’s a good feeling. It’s tons of fun at times. It’s stressful and a lot of pressure and often times so tiring when you come home from work you have no energy to do anything.

 

But as for life long careers? I’m not sure.

 

I do know, i like to be home. I like to clean. I like to cook. I like home projects. I love tending to the dog. I love to read. I love to write. Ideally, my dream job would give me the ability to work at home, hours of my choice. It would give me freedom and flexibility to volunteer in program like i currently work, animal shelters and green earth organizations.  I just want the financial security and the freedom to invest in things I love and have the ability to satisfy all my humanitarian interests.

Do you know what the job is ? I sure haven’t figured it out…

writing , writing prompt , writing challenge

Day  8: Discuss a moment when you felt most satisfied with your life.

 

I’ll be honest with you, I’m struggling a bit over here. I’m not having a big grand AH HA! moment. The light bulb is flickering. But, it’s just not lighting up all the way. I’m not really defining ONE big grand spectacular moment.

For me, i tend to be a humble person. Sometimes, almost to a fault, i put more energy and effort into other people than myself. I’m most proud of my character and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I define myself as having a heart of gold and stating this isn’t even narcissistic. I do things for other people that not many people would.

Of course, i think of the hubby and surviving two brain surgeries and the upstanding spouse I have been ( and will always be) but to me that doesn’t fall under this question. Most of this situation would be HIS moments. Not mine.

If i was to define a moment I felt most satisfied with my life it would in some aspect encompass this nurturing heart I have for others.

Like one of my former co-workers/good friend dated a guy for three years. This guy was an awesome guy. He was a great worker. He had goals and ambitions that he was actively working on. He was an awesome friend.

But…

He was a shitty ass boyfriend though.  These two dated for three years until finally they broke up.

She was crushed.

And then Valentines Day was rolling around.

I knew she would be extra emotional , it being the first V-Day single.  So i surprised her with a gift.  A cute card. Some chocolate. A teddy bear. Candy. Random dollar store items. I just got a big gift bag and stuffed it full of stuff to make her smile.

She loved it and appreciated it so much and she worked her shift with her spirits lifted.

That made my heart swell. Knowing i brought comfort and peace to a good person.

It’s the little things like this that i look back on and feel the most accomplishment and satisfaction.

Or the accumulation of little actions and gestures adding up. Like at my job. When a client finally learns and understands something I’ve been teaching them. When they finally learn to travel to a new place after many , many stressful train rides. When they can go into the store, purchase items on their own and count their change after many many manyyyyy  mornings of doing math with them before coffee.  Or when one of my Deaf Clients finally learns a new sign or FINALLY memorized their schedule and I don’t have to hunt down visuals five minutes before program starts.

It’s the consistency that makes me most satisfied with life. The effort.

I’m a simple person. All i need to feel amazing with life and myself is to be true to my heart. From others, i just need a little bit of effort( not even pertaining to me but their task or goal).

 

So, no I don’t have a big grand moment when I felt most satisfied with life. It’s the little things that matter most to me.

I.o.u

Posted: June 7, 2016 in Uncategorized

I need to give ya’ll an I.O.U. on today’s blog entry. Worked late today and feeling a little under the weather. Till tomorrow lovelies.

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Day 7: What were your favorite childhood toys?

 

  1. Polly Pocketpolly pocket , toys ,90's, childhoodI was obsessed with these. It’s basically a miniature doll house with miniature characters. They had a million and one different themes from castle to house to farm. It was all encased in the circular case and literally was to go size. Just snap it shut and be on your merry way. Funny thing  about these, I was a tad bit of a town boy. I did like doll’s and stuff it’s just growing up we were not allowed to open the dolls. They were decoration or collectibles. My mother would simply put it on shelves in the room my sister and I shared. Often times, I caught my sister opening the boxes ever so delicately wanting to play with the dolls. But this was in the 1990’s.  The dolls were awesomely super fixed with that indestructible zip tie like plastic.  So often Barbie was left in her tomb. I guess that conditioning rubbed off on me and when I was in possession of a doll I didn’t quite know what to do with it.
  2. Tamagotchi tamagotchi , 90's, 90's kid, 90's toys, toys, I loved these digital pets. For about two weeks.  It would wake up and beep at random times and your job was tend to its needs, feed it, put it to sleep. I raved about these when i first got one and it went everywhere with me. I proudly showed it off to anyone and everyone.I took so good care of it. Then the reality of it hit, that thing would die if you didn’t constantly please its relentless needs. I wasn’t ready for parenthood.  I was a pre-teen at best. It was too much pressure on my little life. I gave custody to my older sister. Sometimes i wonder how my digital pet would of fared, if i would of had what it took to be a good parent in the end.
  3. The creature from hell. toy, 90's toy's, creature from hell, possessed Furby. These god awful creatures from hell. Me, like so many other poor souls, fell in love with these furry critters. So called battery operated, it would wake up and like the digital pet i told you about earlier, this was similar. I believe when it wanted to go to sleep you had to pet it. To feed it you had to put your finger in its mouth. It made responses and such. It would wake up crying sometimes. In the middle of the night. For no fucking reason. I loved this thing for months on end. I took care of it and didn’t abandoned it like i did my digital pet. Until, this little fucker became creepy. I would often be woken up from my sleep because a sixth sense feeling would tell me too and find this thing on the shelf…staring at me. It would cry in the dead of the night. This is a true story, i got so fed up with this thing, i swore it was alive. I decided i was taking out the batteries just to be safe. I removed the batteries. Folks when i tell you this thing cried in the middle of the night I am not shitting you.  This demon possessed creature cried, without batteries, in the middle of the night. I flung that thing so hard across the room against the wall. Only problem that was my sisters side of the bed and it fell onto of her. I swear to you this thing was crying in that slow dying robot voice tamper off way.  In the morning i told my mother to throw it out. She said no, it’s a collectible. For years it was randomly downstairs in the dinning room on the computer desk. For years i would put an extra pep in  step when i happened to connect eyes with this thing. It wasn’t until maybe five or six year ago my mother finally threw this thing out.
  4. Mystery Stuff Animal. For the life of me i cannot remember the name of this stuffed animal. It was before Tickle Me Elmo. I can’t even tell  you WHAT animal it was. I just have vivid memory of my dad asking me what i wanted for Christmas. It was this toy.  I remember it was sold out at almost every toy store especially considering it was like two days before Christmas. It reminds me of the move Jingle All The Way.  I vividly remember my dad and I going on this wild hunt to try to find and purchase this toy. We ended up finding it at the last place we expected to find it, a local store. I remember opening it up on Christmas and it was by far my most treasured toy. I find it amazing, i cant even recall what it looked like. I remember loving this toy so much and loving even more the adventure and lengths my dad went to provide it for me. I’m just happy I remember the effort and adventure with my dad, that is far more valuable than anything. 516E9SGEH5L

  5. Growing up, i often played outside. I hung out with my older brother a lot. I was very much a Tom Boy. I rode bikes. I played basketball. I was always outside with my brother and his friends playing manhunt and getting scrapped knees and dirty. As i was growing up , i also was introduced to books. I loved to read. When i wasn’t playing outside I was reading books. Also, i grew up in a wrestling household. Watching wrestling was sacred in this house. I was a hardcore wrestling fan and often purchased their tshirts, costumes, belts and played fake wrestling with my brother and cousins. One time, my cousin, brother sister and I were practicing our wrestling moves in my sister’s and I room . I don’t remember what move it was, all i remember i went head first into the metal frame of the bed. About a two – three inch cut right in the middle of my forehead.  We were all scared we would get in trouble so threw a bandana on my head. All the adults were downstairs bbq-ing and when they called us for food they looked at me and my weird head gear funny but tossed it up to kids being kids. The next day when my mother saw the scab on my forever she asked what happened and we told her. She said obviously i was fine and didn’t need stitches and that was that. I still have a slight scar on my forehead from that.

 

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Day Six: What is your Zodiac Sign and does it fit your personality?

My Sign is a Gemini. I always identified with the characteristics of a Gemini and felt it fit my personality well.  I will analyze Gemini and it’s characteristics and my opinion . Bold will be the analysis from this site.  Also, i used a horoscope explanation from a Facebook meme but couldn’t find it’s creator . All images are from google images while searching Gemini tag.

This part is from the FB meme:

gemini , zodiac , horoscope“In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini’s ruler – Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news – which might explain why those born under the sign of the ‘Twins’ are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are multi-faceted souls who enjoy knowing a little bit of everything but generally not too much about one particular subject. It’s just that variety is the spice of their lives!”
– I agree with this 100%. I have basic intro 101 knowledge on so much random topics but once i learn the basics i move on. i haven’t found something to hold my attention yet that i would actually pursue further examination. I rather be knowledgeable about a lot than be fluent in a little.

“In Astrology, Geminis have also gained the reputation of being the incessant talkers of the zodiac. Those Twins that don’t have the ‘gift of the gab’ are usually talented writers or have a special interest in foreign languages. In love, they look for a partner who can keep up with them mentally and physically! And, to quote Oscar Wilde, “there’s one thing worse than people talking about you, that’s people not talking about you.” Whether Geminis like it or not, people are usually “talking about them”. Together with Scorpio and Virgos, they are a sign that is often discussed, dissected and sometimes even put down by the other signs of the zodiac. Sometimes this is a subtle form of jealousy by others, because Geminis do lead very unique and unusual lives. The Gemini personality can appear mysterious or detached to others and therefore they are often misunderstood and unappreciated for the talents they offer to the world at large.”
– I also agree with this. I prefer the written word and exchange proficiently and profoundly through it. When exchanging in person, i tend to like to listen and observe.  I much more prefer to have exchanges through writings. I do haven an appeal to different languages. I majored in American sign language.  One of my defining factors of a mate is intellect and i found that in my hubby. We can pass banter one minute and the next have a profound talk about the meaning of life. He not only has the ability to switch topics he is even more affluent in topics I’m not familiar with and presents new evidence to dissect and debate.  I personally do feel people are always talking about me.  I don’t personally care though.

gemini-heart-david-bollt“Another reason Geminis evoke so much interest is many born under this sign are multi-dimensionally talented. In money matters, some Geminis are very adept and quick at making it…and spending it too. Many Geminis are involved in international financial wheeling and dealing. They love the adventure and game playing involved in out-thinking other people. Gemini’s can be very haphazard about their financial affairs too, with many of them ending up in divorce courts mainly because their partners have become tired of living on the edge of a financial precipice.”
– This made me laugh.  I think its true. I don’t hold money in high regards. Shit, the other day i went into rite aid and just picked up stuff i needed and what caught my eye and when the cashier told me the total i was like holy shit.  She prompted me to swipe my card I was like lady give me a minute i need to pep talk myself to swipe. I do spend money quickly. However, I’m a saver.  Or try to be at-least.  I’m a planner for sure. I know i need x y and z paid and i need this amount for co-payment for this  so i plan all the responsible bills and services in advance. I’m big on sorting money in envelopes, putting it aside for its purpose in advanced. I am conscious of the going and coming of my money but I’m just in the life circumstance where I’m living pay check to pay check.  I feel i do manage money well. I make sure everything is bought and paid for and i try to shop economically.  Just don’t let me go into a dollar store unattended…

stock-photo-zodiac-sign-gemini-white-line-astrological-symbol-with-caption-dates-planet-and-element-on-258241157“Characteristics of Gemini . Source from this site:
The constellation of Gemini depicts a set of twins, Castor and Polydeuces. It is from this picture that the zodiac draws the archetypal Gemini sign. Gemini is the legendary dualistic sign of the zodiac and is rumored to have almost a split persona, thus channeling the twin depiction. However, this dualism isn’t as simple as a personality split. Oftentimes, what is believed by others to be a dual personality is really a discrepancy between how the Gemini would like to be seen, and how he really is.
    A passion for novelty
    A curious disposition
    Socially outgoing
    Witty in speech and prone to banter
    Creative and quick to task
    Emotionally unreachable and difficult to pin down”
– My analysis .
I always identified with Gemini and duel personalities aspects. I always felt like i had two distinct sides. Growing up , I was always a polite well mannered nerd.  During high-school I would report to all my classes, do all my work and get straight A’s.  Once three o clock hit, my books went into my locker and my purse was swung over my shoulder and the party started. I partied and partied hard. Yet , i kept my two distinct personalities separate.  The only constant was my honesty and kindness that transferred from books to bars. Yes, i was underage at party events.  In discussion with the hubby this morning while researching our zodiac signs, he doesn’t perceive this to be a split persona. He interprets this just a good sense of work ethic and professionalism. He argued it’s something we all do, we all put on smile and good manners and work our 9-5 and that usually is a sugar coated version of ourselves for the sake of professionalism in a work environment. It made me ponder .I always identified so strong with the twin aspect of Gemini’s and thought it totally summed me up. However, now I’m just wondering if that’s just a professionalism trait and not an astrological trait.  Also, no matter the  environment i carry the same desire to be seen and respected in the same manner. I don’t portray myself in any way other than me .I don’t have assumptions on how people should decipher me. So, i don’t necessarily have that struggle of being seen one way and wanting to be seen in another. I’m the type of person that is very much you get what you see and i don’t particularly care if you like it or not.

31ca6a1a9555582e10f9ee30e663c09bI do agree with having a passion for novelty , curiosity and creativity. I would say though not so much in interpersonal interactions. I prefer through written word rather than face to face. That goes to say I’m not that socially out going. I used to be , for sure. But, now i evolved into a homebody. I’m perfectly happy to stay home with a good book, or even crappy reality tv show with the hubby and my dog.  Also, i do no agree with the emotional aspect at all. At times i wear my heart on my sleeve.  I’m an emphatic person and compassionate.  I do tend to put myself second to others but I’m highly in tuned to my emotions.

“Romantic Pursuits
In relationships, Geminis tend to theorize. They often look at “How I should feel” above “How I actually feel.” This causes them to get involved in relationships they are not ready for and those for which they are poorly matched. Also, because he is ever-chasing new pursuits, it is very difficult for a Gemini to accept commitment. This sign will always be seeking “the best of the best.””
This made me snicker.  I do agree as a teen i dated some people that make me scratch my head now. I do guess i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and so overlook red  flags. I also tend to think i can fix people, help them. However, I’m loyal to a fault. If I commit , i commit for all I’m worth.  With my hubby for instance, never for an instance did i think of not committing to him.  People often seem shocked and amazed that i stayed with him through all we have underwent.  It amazes me people would think of leaving when times are tough…that is a concept i don’t understand. I stand by my partner, good,bad, health and illness. I don’t fear commitment, at-least not to my knowledge.

Gemini“On the Job
Though easily distracted, Geminis can be excellent in the work force. They are not grunt laborers, however. If the job is interesting and appealing, the Gemini will get more done before lunch than his co-workers will accomplish all week. If the task at hand seems mundane and boring, he will procrastinate for a short time before moving on to a more challenging career
Gemini personalities love to be informed about all that is going on at the work place; they will look to their co-workers for input and advice. In spite of their insistence on being in the limelight, Geminis are great team players.”

-This is pretty spot on for me. I have a great work ethic. I laughed aloud  at the getting more done before lunch then my coworkers for the week.  That couldn’t be more true. I never attributed my work ethic to my astrological sign. I often wondered where i derived it from.

hellandbrand_gemini“Overall Gemini
Gemini is not actually two minds. This seeming battle of personalities is often the result of a conflict between the emotions and the intellect. There is often a disconnect in most air signs between introspection and actuality. Geminis are theorizers, so they can be prone to believe they feel or need something that they actually do not. This is why a Gemini has an excellent time behaving politely when he is peeved, and is smitten when his heart is secretly wandering. Before an outsider can discern what a Gemini really wants, it is important for the Gemini to work out such issues himself.Despite the world’s wealth of knowledge and opportunity, a Gemini’s main challenge will be to know himself.”
-I would say  i agree with parts if this. I often struggle with my passions and humanitarian side and realistic means to make ends meet. I struggle with following my heart and what the responsible adult thing is to do. But isn’t this simply a problem humans face during their phase of development?  Maybe being a Gemini adds to the struggle because we’re unwilling to compromise with matters of our heart and mind.  I am good at compartmentalizing my emotions, i can leave my problems at the door and go about my day with a smile on my face. I can be steaming angry and you would never know it- though as i get older i don’t care to hide it anymore. I feel like i know myself well however i have not found the balance to nourish both my passions and realistic living  but i don’t feel it’s a challenge related to knowing myself. I think the challenge lies in living in such an enclosed environment and finding a way to survive without conforming and still have money to pay the bills .

Overall, I do seem many traits of myself and personality that falls under Gemini. But there was a lot of small things that didn’t quite fit. I spent the morning with the hubby going through all the signs and i actually believe i sound more like a Cancer sign than a Gemini… but that’s a discussion and exploration for a whole entire different post.

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This a writing Challenge developed by Linda. Please review how to participate over at her blog. You can find her page here.Here is a hardcopy of the link:
The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 4/16

 

Today’s prompt is Book.

books, book, reading, read, love , passion, imagination

When i read the word book i can’t help it , I smiled. I’m a book collector. I love to read. However , i binge read. Due to real life , i haven’t had the luxury to read the way  i like to. It’s not enough for me to read a few pages before i take the dog out or read a few chapters while commuting.

That’s a tease.

I like to read chucks at a time. I don’t HAVE to read a book in one sitting.  Part of the reading experience for me is being lost to the world created. I’m not turning pages. I’m ducking behind bushes with the main character or driving behind the wheel of the car. I get lost within the binds of the books. I don’t just read about the world,  i escape and live there.  For me, that’s reading.

books, book, read, reading, passion, love, imagination

 

To be able to read my way, i have to read more than a few pages at a time. I have to be lulled into a rhythm and the real world fades and dissipates and life no longer is nagging in my ear. I escape.

I enjoy experiencing a book this way. People ask how you can read a crappy book. This is how. Once I’m thrust into world, i see it through.
Reading is my ultimate passion. Books are my most treasured possessions. To me , books are the gatekeepers to other worlds.

book, books, read, reading, imagination, passion, love

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Day Five: What are your favorite comfort foods and why?

One:

PPQ_Enlarged_OreoCC_W7_09072015
Ice cream-  Oreo cookie and cream ice cream to be exact.  Forget the bowl just pass me a spoon. I actually have a little ritual. I usually get the Baskin Robbin prepackaged kind.  It’s always on sale two for 9.99. I wrap the carton in tissue so my hands don’t get cold burn. And I get under the blanket. I put on a chic flick or reality show. And spoon away. I know unhealthy but i usually eat half the carton like this.  I think it’s so soothing for me because it’s cold. It takes time. I spoon out the bigger cookie piece and place it on the lid. I save those for last. There is a process involved and it combines my favorite flavors of oreo and ice cream. It definitely fulls you up as well.  Its my go to comfort food.
cereal, comfort food

If for some ungodly reason the store is out of Oreo cookie and cream, my back up is plain vanilla but i add toppings. It’s a little weird but taste amazing. Fruity pebbles. This is definitely a bowl experience. I layer fruity pebble on the bottle of the bowl, layer of ice cream, layer of more fruity pebbles.  There is something about the construction of this that is calming. Then the mixed texture experience while eating and vegging out to TV.  Definitely,  a top comfort food.

Two:
choclate bar , comfort food,
A chocolate bar. I’m picky with chocolate. My favorite is cadbury’s milk chocolate. I freeze it first. Then break up the whole bar into squares and pick out an eating order with the squares.

Three:
cake, comfort food

Fluffy cakes. I’m not picky when it comes to cakes. I eat all flavors.  I do eat it a little ocd.  I usually eat half of a slice in the traditional way, fork at a time. Then i start dissecting the layers and separate the layers and eat one layer at a time.  I’m beginning to think it’s the ritual of eating that is more calming to me.  To have that down time watching tv and a task to fixate on and shut out the real world.

Four
ice coffee, coffee, comfort food

Ice coffee ( hot coffee during winter).  I’m just not the same person when i don’t have coffee. Allow me my coffee time and i swear it’s the best comfort to me and honestly for the safety of the general population.

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  • All images are from Google image searching topic words.

blog, blogging, blogging challenge, write, writing prompts, life

 

Day Four: Discuss your views on religion

I was raised Roman Catholic. I was in Catholic school until high school. I think when your in this type of strict and religious environment you are denied the options of choice. You are not introduced to faith, you are being told what to believe, when to believe it and how to believe and depict faith. Then criticized if it’s not their definition of a right depiction.   Your homework assignment is to attend Sunday Mass and write about the sermon then be graded on it in class… grade your faith? That’s basically being conditioned to believe that if you don’t know all the patron saints or all the milestones of Jesus Christ it’s solely because you are lacking in faith and therefore disappointing your Lord and Savior and falling prey to a life of unholiness and sin. Who is anyone to determine your relationship and standing with God?

And holy hell, those nuns. One Sister held me back for detention for hours to repetitively write  o’s correctly in cursive.  You never catch me writing in script since elementary school.

The moment I entered high school I stopped attending church services.  Truth be told, I stopped believing in traditional religion in a church setting long before then.

For awhile, I’m going to guesstimate around 12 years old, i seriously believed in Wicca. There was something about the simplicity of spirituality and connecting to nature.  And a Goddess. I vividly remember one Saturday my family took a trip to the racetrack. I brought with me various books on Wicca and a notebook and i dutifully spent the day taking notes in my notebook.

I drifted from Wicca during high school.

And i was adrift for quite some time.

I studied various religions  like Buddhism and Islam.

Nothing seemed right. Nothing fit me 100%. Something always left  a nagging  feeling.
So you know what i did? I put aspects from every religion i know that connected with me and I stirred it up.

And that’s what I practice and believe in.

I believe there is a God. But i also believe there is many Gods and Goddesses. I believe in nature and there is spiritual connections to mother nature. I believe in Peace. I believe in the Three Folds Law, whatever energy you send out into the world is returned to you three times. I believe in Karma. I believe in heaven and hell but  i also believe in reincarnation. I do tie in beliefs to supernatural happenings,  I believe in angels and guardian angels and ghosts.

I believe all traditional religions are right and all are wrong at the same time.

I pray. I pray to my maker – you call it God or Goddess or any other name. I just identify with a higher entity and usually i call it a God. But, i do believe in a Goddess as well ( mother nature ).  When i pray I’m not reciting a memorized mantra. It’s like talking just like I am talking to you all here. I live my life with a moral code. I try to make better choices  and treat myself and others with compassion an respect.  I face life with understanding for others and consideration. I practice being open and honest.

I do no identify with organized traditional religions. I do believe we have choices and should not live our lives line for line according to a doctrine. Life has much fluidity. We have to be willing to be swept into the currents. I believe religions are like a dam preventing life from flowing. If the official labels are taking off and the wall is brought down then we can freely swift through the waves of life.

waves

 

 

3f72ebe09aca0347da4d48bd2a6a6167Day Three: Top five pet peeves

 

 

I’m a pretty patient person. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. I worked retail, direct customer service sales,  for three years and I survived due to high tolerance for stupidity.  But here are a few things that i go from zero to sixty in 2.4 seconds.

One:
One thing that absolutely makes me see red is oblivious inconsiderate people. I live in NY and take public transportation. There is an unwritten law that you move the fuck out of the way to let people off the train first. Then you board the train. Similarly, the flow of foot traffic on the platform and corridors of the train station, one direction/side for going and the other side/direction for incoming. It’s not rocket science. The train station stop I use every morning to get to work is awful at this. This concept of direction completely eludes every single person. This train station, let me explain in percent. The total corridor is 100% of available space. 20% to the left is the designated path to the escalators that are leading out to the street, the only exit. The other 80% is staircases leading down from the street. Which cannot be used to walk up because there is constant foot traffic flowing down the steps and no one is conscious to leave space to walk up (plus that’s three stair cases, who’s really walking up three flight of stairs 8 in the morning). So the only exit up to the street is only 20% of the area. Why in the bloody hell will you (crowds not just single people)  descend the stairs and decide that the 80% walking area is not enough space and cut directly in front of the 20% space causing all types of traffic and congestion. I see red every freaking morning cause of this. Now we have to play a game of chicken as we are speed walking ( common NY speed ) at each other and see who is going to move the fuck out of the way first and usually end up playing bumper cars. I seriously think about flat out running while throwing elbows or extending my arms, elbows locked , close lining people. Every, Single. Morning.

Two;

For the love of God do not abruptly stop walking. Cell phones have taken over. As soon as we hit stairs ascending to the street from the train station, foot traffic drops to a snail pace because everyone pulls out their phone and starts texting. Seriously you cant wait 20 more seconds and then move the hell out of the way? I cant tell you how many times on the street and I’m walking and someone stops on crowded sidewalks out of the blue to study their phone. It can not be that serious that you cannot take the whole three seconds to step aside and stop to check your phone. And you know what…why do u have to constantly check your phone in the first place?! Can’t it wait until you’ve reached your destination? Next time I see a person crossing the street and texting, I’m not saving your oblivious ass.

Three:
Pan handling. I don’t mind people that pick a spot, hold a sign, dance or sell things. We all have tough times and i don’t judge people that are down on their luck and trying to ask for money.   It’s the people that wait outside of the deli or fast food place that make me so mad.  Around my workplace they even enter the stores and ask you for money. They just watched you pay in cash and received change.  It’s uncomfortable all around. I don’t give out money. I seen too many scammer. I’ve witness panhandlers buy drugs, booze etc. I offer food or to buy food when I can afford it.  And i live in the area, i see you everyday. Don’t give me the sob story. “just got laid off, gotta feed my kid” Bitch, you haven’t worked in two years, you’ve been at the popeyes asking for money everyday. You’re kids who you buy booze for when its the beginning of the month are in their late 20’s . You walk around the area with them. Your grown. Your kids are grown. Don’t pull a sob story on me. People legitimately have those struggles.  There is a guy by the Dunkin Doughnuts by my job. He holds his cup. He opens the door when your going in. He opens the door when your leaving. He say good morning, have a nice day etc. Doesn’t bother or hound people. Just holds his cup. I respect that. He isn’t bothering anyone. He is making my morning nice and he is working, trying. Do what you gotta do bro. I support that. But, others would follow you while you order and ask for money while your paying and catch an attitude when you say no. Respect my space. And FYI don’t annoy people before they have gotten their morning coffee.

Four:
Couples , Don’t get me wrong. You’re happy and in love. Good for you. I’m not hating. However, can  you not co-exist? Do you need to walk taking up the whole sidewalk hand in hand and refuse to let go and share the side walk with everyone? Will your love for each other die for not holding on to each other for 3.5 seconds?  Seriously, this makes me so angry.  When i walk with the hubby, sure we hold hands. When we encounter  a smaller walking space we , like logical people, let go and walk in a line. We do not maintain a vice like grip and prevent people walking in the opposite direction from walking until we pass.  It makes no damn sense to me. Can you not function self sufficiently if you let go of your partners hand? I really don’t understand this.  Your happy and in love, cool. Just move the fuck out of the way.

Five:
Smoking. I’m a smoker.  For shame, yes i know.  However, it’s my habit and i try my best not to inflict it on the public ( except my bestie, it’s your job description to deal with it <3). I don’t walk and smoke. I don’t stand in lines and smoke ( ex. bus stop). I don’t stand by entrances. I try my best to find a nook against a building. I try to find the least offensive spot an I don’t smoke at corners , I always turn off the main street to around the corner.  I try. I understand it’s  my habit and people may have illness or breathing problems. I try to be conscious when people are walking by, wait until they pass to blow out smoke and try to blow in the opposite direction. I try. I really do. People however, can see me in whatever obscure nook I’m at minding my own business.  They see the cigarette. They see the smoke. They see me standing there from up the block. They have the whole sidewalk to walk. Yet still they stroll up inches away from me. Close enough that if i reach out i could touch them.  Fine, that’s your choice where you walk. But, then don’t get mad when you get  a face full of smoke. You clearly saw me and decide to keep your course.  I try my best to be aware and considerate of smoking spots. But, you have no reason to roll up mere inches away from me when the whole sidewalk is clear.  You don’t have the right to get mad and give me dirty looks.  And parents, watch your damn kids. I can’t tell you how many times children are running around me while I’m smoking because your not paying attention. I try my best to avoid children and be conscious of my hands and to move my hand out of the way from their height so they don’t get burned. But, you make me want to burn you when you are not minding your kids. Or worse, see me smoking and decide that’s a perfect good spot to stop walking, directly in front of me and then get made when you get a face of smoke. Pay attention. My fingers are inching to burn you with my cigarette.

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Day Two: Where would you like to be in ten years?
The vision for the future is ever changing.
          Surrounded by meadows of wheat and wild flowers with country’s miles away from another soul.flowers, field, wild, country, country living, life

Quaint one family ranch house with a backyard of grass for the dogs to run.

mediterranean, backyard, suburbs ,

15th floor penthouse view overlooking the New York City skyline.
nyc, ny , new york, penthouse, view, city , city live, condos

Fluidity of wants and needs are forever overlapping like a wave crescendo . In tens years from now…. I’m not sure what shores I will wash upon.

I can see myself sweeping pollen off my porch steps yet at the same time I can see myself drinking martini’s on a rooftop. To me, home is where the heart is. heart, happy, happiness, love, home
I know no matter where the vasts oceans of life takes me, I will be happy as long as the people I love most are with me. So ten years from now where do I see myself ? I couldn’t say where I will be living nor what career I would have. I can say though, ten years from now, wherever I end up…
I will be happy.

happy, happiness, peace