Posts Tagged ‘challenge’

Top-10-Reasons-Why-LMS-Implementation-Fail

Why hello there wordpressers. Sooo, the blog challenge was an epic fail. A day got away from me…and the days started to add up. Before i knew it, it was a week later.  A blink of the eye, it was two weeks later.

I admit it was a little overwhelming to post everyday for the blog challenge. Previous challenges I have completed, i used to binge write on my days off and schedule them to publish the day off. This time around, I was attempting to write everyday, not in advance.

I admit, I let the fear of the effort it takes to write prevent me from trying. Once i hit two days, I was like OMG i have so much to write I don’t have the energy for it.

It was just a combination of life taking a toll on me. When I came home from work, I was just done for the day. Things at home were hectic too with my dad having surgery.

My head space was not good.

I may have failed.

But, I am not defeated.

I will try again. I’m aiming for the weekend. I already know work this week is jammed packed and I’m putting in extra time so I’m not going to even bother to set myself up for that failure. But, no plans this weekend. Three day weekend at that. So, that’s the goal I’m aiming for.

I’m thinking of picking up from where I left off with the 30 day challenge.

 

I’m sorry to disappoint to the few people that were following my daily challenge. But, stay tuned, it’s not over yet.

Advertisements

book, nerd, booknerd, bookworm, reading, books

Well, my Christmas present to myself was books. Then the hubby’s present was more books.

If you’ve been following my blog for some time you all know last year I made a good reads account and joined a challenge, to read a 100 books for the year. Well, the tally was 60 something books. I reckon i read maybe 80 or so though because I binge read ( re-read) a whole series before the latest book and i did re-read the True Blood series so that’s 13 books alone. I didn’t count re-reads in my goodreads challenge.

So, the book nerd in me was  peeved.

I’m doing the challenge again.  I started reading on New Years Day itself. So far I have read 10 books. Not too shabby.  Challenge is off to a good start. I hope to keep it up.

So much to read, so little time.

rose, flower, sparking, wither, breakin free
For those of you that have been my blogging friends for a while, you all knew or knew off Swift Expression and her fierce blog and amazing Blogging Challenges. We all miss Tilda dearly and if anyone has communication with her please tell her I miss her and love her,

For those of you new bloggers you may not know of her and her blog. I wish you did but her blog is now closed down. If you go to my Trendsetter tab all those pages are a template of blog posts I have made for her last challenge before she left.

That was back in April. I wrote this farewell post back then and stated I wish to start a Writing Prompt Series in her honor and all the inspiration both in blogging and life she provided to us all.  You can read that post here or by clicking the link below.

https://cornerofconfessions.wordpress.com/2013/04/07/fly-away-farewell-to-swift-expression-with-our-love/

Testament to how much she inspired me i nearly stopped blogging since she left. But, I’m back and I’m ready.

I wish to start this writing prompt series.

However, I’m well aware my following had dwindled down with active communication not consistent.  I don’t think , in the beginning at least that anyone will join in or many people will read and follow along a weekly writing prompt series.

So I’m changing this tribute series just a little bit. I’m making it a personal dedication to my wonderful Tilda. Swift Expression was just an adequate name. She really inspired and invoked creativity inside myself I didn’t even know I had. So, I owe it to her and to myself to harvest my inner creativity. For that I’m going to start a weekly blog post.  It will be to challenge myself to post ONCE a week even during my busiest times.  And really that’s what matters most. Going back to the basics of blogging for one’s own self. It what Tilda inspired in us all, opening us up to blog about our true inner feelings and to give us encouragement to explore then.

So it is only fair any writing series I start be in that honor, to write to explore one’s self.

So that’s what this weekly writing prompt thingy will be.

We all have slumps. We each have busy lives with lives off the computer that need our tending too and attention. So we all have a few days where it’s not convenient to blog. That’s how I slipped up in blogging. It was easy to get lost in the routine of life. Without my main inspiration of Swift Expression who would personally seek you out for your input. I felt a detachment from blogging. I felt there was no one to hold me accountable.

I’m changing that mindset. Starting now.

I’m getting back into blogging for MYSELF. My for peace of mind. Quell my emotions. For the joy of writing.

butterflies, freedom , flying, set free

Please stay Tuned for Part two of this where it would go into details of the writing prompt series itself. I’m thinking of calling it “Slump Day” . The post to help get you past your slump in blogging for that week. Wha cha think?

enhanced-buzz-28178-1326835131-4

Hello my dear friends and followers. I have started the NEW blog challenge by Swift Expression. However, I wanted to give you a gentle reminder the previous one still needs to be completed.

Please go here and vote for me. Or, if someone else and their input for the challenge resonated with you more then by all means vote for them! Just please take the few seconds to click over and vote. If you can, drop a line as a comment to say who you are supporting so we can thank you properly.

http://tfaswift.com/2013/02/24/vote-the-poll/

www-tfaswift-wordpressThese challenges are just that a Challenge. It’s fun and scary at the same time. It’s different. It takes honesty and time to write them. Some people pour their heart across the page. It has formed a little community of support and I feel privileged to have shared with others and be included in their sharing. Please do take a minute to go vote.

I will owe  you one 😉

Kicking off the second Challenge in the Swift Expression Blogging Challenge Series, this Challenge is about lies.  In this challenge we are asked when ( if ever) it is okay to lie.

Not to sound all Doctor house buttttt

house

Yes, I believe everybody lies.

I do.
liar
I’m not a liar. I don’t believe in lying. But, i can’t sit here and tell you I have never lied and I don’t lie.
Let me explain.

When asked how are you? We all respond “okay” , “fine” , “not too bad”. However, we never answer honest and truly. I never respond “I’m a mess”. No, i smile and say “hanging in there, how bout yourself?”

I don’t purposely lie. No, I don’t believe in lying to a person’s face and I don’t believe in saying anything ( truth or lie) behind someone’s back.  If my opinion and thoughts are asked for then i will disclose them. But, I cannot honestly and truly say  I never lie.

There is even the type of  lies when someone asks you how does this look? You dont outright said “stupid”, instead you find a tactful way of letting them know it’s probably not their style. Or when a friend breaks up with their boyfriend and you tell them ‘they’re loss” which very well may be true butttt many factors led up to that but its not your place to say so or you weren’t asked. That still is a lie. I’m known for telling my friends ” i think its a bad idea, but i support you” and i’ve lost many friends for being “honest’ and not lying to them about their bad ideas or ventures or choices… not judging… just told them from the start how i felt and asked them to think about it. Cause i believe in this:
hurttruth
Now, you don’t have to be outright mean about it, hurt the person, or all I-told-you-so. Show consideration and compassion, which i do. I believe a true friend will tell you anything be it good or bad… not just be your own personal cheerleader.

And then there is the whole “appearance” aspect of common communication and interaction with others. Some people simply cannot tell the truth.

lies n truth

We then have to sort through the “truth” and determine which are the lies.

truthlies

Some people are so concerned about appearance and presentation they exaggerate to make themselves seem ideal.  In others words they lie through their teeth. Lie about everything and anything. They may lie to seem like they have self confidence and self esteem but really are tremendously insecure.  Maybe they want to project this success and perfect image of themselves and are embarrassed about what their lot in life really is?

I don’t get that. I would have much more respect for you if you just came to me upfront.

A fellow blogger wrote a post about Secrets and i shared a story of a secret, a lie, that i keep everyday. I smoke. My parents do not know. Never have. Hopefully never will. I quit many times. The longest was just over a year ( through the bulk of my hubby’s sickness though i quit before any of that happened). I get great grief over smoking ciggys after witnessing cancer and my hubby having Cancer. But, he was actually the one to tell me to pick up smoking again and quit when I was ready.  Before his cancer, he never smoked , never did drugs and rarely drank. Which was ironic cause he was judged by his appearance ( long hair, biker look, covered in tattoos). Everyone looked at him and saw trouble and druggie, yet he was so straight edged. He felt a big black whole of regret about that. He told me life is too short- have my vices now when we’re young.

But like i said , my parents do not know.  I just smoke in secret. Family events? I go without smoking.. or walk away and hide. But about this? If they ask me I’m borderline of flat out lying and telling the truth. My reason for keeping this secret , this lie? I don’t want to be judged.  I’m the “black sheep” of my family. Everything i do is never enough, never good enough.  I graduated with honors in high school went to college yet still that wasn’t enough. I didn’t have a job. Now. I have a seasonal job but instead of seeing that a step into the job field it’s “JUST” a seasonal job yet my job is more strenuous and labor work than all of the working members of my family put together. I asked for a ride this Saturday coming up cause I’m scheduled til 1230AM but it is not likely to be let out exactly on time.. more like 1AM and buses stop running regularly at midnight.  I was told to take a cab or something. There is always something. So if the cat was let out of the bag about my smoking? I would never hear the end of it. I’m even turning publicity off for this post as to not link to my facebook where family members may be able to see this. The lie is more for my peace of mind than anyone’s benefit.

I guess what I’m trying to say i only believe in lying when its to protect yourself from judgement. I don’t believe in lying in general, white lies, or lies to not hurt another person’s feelings. You can be honest and open yet still find a way to tell the truth. But, no one deserves to be judged. No one deserves to be mistreated. If telling a lie will protect yourself from that, like me with my family and their negative treatment, then i think that is the right thing to do.

judegd

Vote for me?

puppyplease
Over on Swift Expression the first Blog Challenge is down and now the poll is up to vote for the winner who gets to decide where the money raised will be donated. I’m not fussy about wining but still i urge you to pop over there and vote for me if feel so inclined. Of course if someone else sparks your fancy you are more than welcomed to vote for them.

Here is the Poll Link :

http://tfaswift.com/2012/12/15/vote-poll-1/

If that adorable picture ( found on google) wasn’t cute enough and didn’t say please enough maybe a different power of persuasion can be deployed?

How bout fear?

meandog

Now if that doesn’t scare you into voting I don’t know what will! LOL.

Seriously, the whole point of everything is to inspire each other and encourage each other like a creative writing group. So please do take the time click the link and check things out even if you do not vote. It really is a good writing challenge and the second blogging challenge is up and ready for your participation if you feel so compelled to part take, it is more than welcomed!

Hope to see you around wordpress!

Christmas has been on mind alot lately. Months ago, I was deeply sad thinking this year I would have to cancel Christmas. We simply could not afford it. I never go all extreme but i always, always, get everyone a little something with a sentimental touch.

As most of you know, i live at home with my parents. So I’m restricted to one single room with my hubby. I do not have free rein to decorate, so i always create a little space on a shelf with a Christmas Alter if you will. This year i dug out my “alter” and simply could not make the space for it.

Yet, Christmas is my favorite of all holidays. It’s not so much the gifts. Though i LOVE to give them. I love to go to the store and think about the person and find something that i just KNOW they would love. Then to come home and wrap it up tight with frilly embellishments and stickers and bows. I love it all. But, it’s SO much more than the gifts. It’s the spirit. It’s the ONE time a year where there is so much joy. So much holiday cheer. It’s the one time of year i don’t feel odd. Everyone is finally happy go lucky like myself. I love the happiness of the holiday spirit.

So this year, saddened I could not be able to afford the gifts, i still was able to maintain a sense of being okay about it… cause I have spirit.  And i would keep that spirit alive if it was the last thing i did.

Then , i got a job. I said I still wasnt going to spend money on gifts. But, i folded and did.  I spent roughly ten dollars on each person of my immediate family. I got quality gifts with a sentimental touch.

I felt bad about spending the money to the point where I was considering returning everything until the hubby stopped me and sternly told me to stop being silly… I wasn’t wasting money and it made me happy. Sure, I was supposed to save that money, but in the end he told me to just enjoy the spirit.

Then today, I read how hurt a friend was for the lack of participation in a really awesome blog challenge to raise money for a charity. She shared how this year she won’t be having a Christmas because she cannot afford it. That hurt my heart.

SO, as part of her blogging challenge series, this is my visual tribute to her.
DSCN1397
And to anyone out there who feel they cannot afford a Christmas. It’s not about gifts and money. It’s about spirit. I’m sending you all bits of my spirit to include you in my very own …. Christmas Town.

My little Christmas Town

My little Christmas Town

DSCN1392

Surrounded by friends

DSCN1401

Each one of you contains something very special yet very different inside.

DSCN1398DSCN1399

What kind of town of town would we be if there wasnt a little something sweet?

What kind of town of town would we be if there wasnt a little something sweet?

Okay, alot of something sweet ;)

Okay, alot of something sweet 😉

And don't forget our animal friends!

And don’t forget our animal friends!

I can think of no better Christmas than my little town

I can think of no better Christmas than my little town

DSCN1385

As long as the spirit is alive, this Christmas town is open to the hearts of you all!

As you all know from my last few posts, I did some writing challenges over on a  friend’s blog. If your interested please pop over there and check it out. While doing that Challenge i noticed another blog  , The Daily Post, many were following and doing challenges/writing prompts. So  i popped over to check it out.

Going through that blog it reminded me of  the creative writing group I was part of in college and even the one I was in during high school. Lately, I have been missing school…especially talking to co-workers who are currently students and reading blogs of current students. So when i saw this blog, I instantly knew I was in.

I have been struggling since working my seasonal retail job with time and managing my time. My blogging has taken a negative affect from that. So, I will doing a few of the challenges/prompts to rectify that situation.

This daily prompt is to revisit your childhood and recollect you earliest memory, describe it in detail and explore why this was an experience to stick with you.
This is my memory:

I don’t even remember her name. Yet, when i strain my mind her image  instantly pops into my mind. Blurry and grainy, never focused and sharp. I try so hard to crisp up the memory, sharpen the image, to see her face. I urge my mind to dig deeper and show her to me.

My first friend.

friend

My earliest memory is of her. We were 4 years old and I was living in  a shanty Brooklyn apartment with my family. She lived upstairs and we attended the same kindergarten. I have two memories of her…just two.. though I’m sure we shared many more. When i think of her, my heart instantly supplies comforting and calming feelings. With the exception of soul mates, there is no deeper bond than that made of innocence.

One of the two memories, I remember being allowed out of the apartment to hang out on the stoop. My mother could see us from the apartment window and my older brother was playing on the sidewalk in front the apartment. We were allowed to play from two house down to the left and to the fire hydrant  which was a building and half down to the right. The radius in which our mother could see from the window.

But, this day was special. My mother has given me oreo cookies. I ran out of the apartment and to my friend and we huddled in the shadows of the doorway to the apartment building to share the rare delicious treat. I would eat the cream, she would eat the cookie. When i ponder on this memory, i get the feeling this wasnt the only time we shared cookies. In this memory I remember having 3 oreo cookies and after we laughed and giggled like little kids do she told me she was going away with her parents, back to their home country. Being a child  i didn’t understand the significance of that. I don’t think she did either. Or maybe all the sugar numbed that part. Cause after the cookies and statement , we ran outside and tried to sneak an extra house down where a kid lived who had pet turtles. We wanted to feed the turtles.

sharing
In the second memory, I remember holding her hand on the last day of school in class. It was my birthday. It was my last day of going to that school ever. My parents have bought a house( the house we still live in now) and we would move into that house at the end of summer, right before school started. I remember holding my friends hand and we ( as a class) played some silly childhood game I don’t remember what it is. I just remember the room swirling and turning. So i guess it was merry go round or something of that sort. We probably just ran in a circle for hours.

I don’t know her name. I can’t clearly recall her face. Yet, she holds a special place in my heart having given me the gift to experience friendship, honest true and pure friendship, at a very early age. I like to think that is why this is my earliest memory I can remember. I remmber later memories too, like the kid down the block with the turtles teaching me how to chew gum ..with my mouth closed. Or that summer my mother having surgery on her foot and I could no longer go see the turtles cause we couldn’t sneak the extra house down …she was always seated by the window because she was now in a leg cast. But, i think my memories of her are a gift of some sort, to always cherish the time you share with someone. It may not always be “forever'” but it doesn’t make it any less special.

Thank you my friend…wherever you are in the world.
catfriends

*All images plucked from google images after searching for terms like ” child sharing” and “best friends”.

For the  3mintue Challenge Swift Expression simply sit down and write for 3 minutes none stop about one of the following topics:

 

1. Something that you are afraid of.

2. A hobby or activity that you enjoy (keep it clean, please!)

3. An idea, theory or opinion that you strongly agree with.
I choose number one , something that you are afraid of.  (Admittedly I went over 3 minutes. It took me about ten minutes when i finished writing. Now I’m taking a couple minutes to do this intro to the challenge, add photos  and proof read a little bit. )

Recently, when I had my job interview for the seasonal job I have now, I was extremely nervous. I went to the fiancée to confide in and he looked at me and said “Babe, please, you’ve had harder talks in your life”. When I asked what he meant he said” With me, with my doctors, with surgery…you’ve done it all. What’s this in comparison?”

He’s done this many times for me. When I have a moment of weakness he likes to instigate with me, to bait me causing me to come back with something smart or tough to say. Then nod his head at me and say there you go.  I don’t think he even knowingly does it. He’s just playing with me. But, I’ve become accustomed to it. I know when I’m upset I will either get a shoulder to cry on, or a push back up on my feet.

I’ve always had him to help me through.

So my greatest fear is not having him there.

I’ve been strong, so very strong, even threw his cancer and illness because I’ll fight to my death for him. And sick or not, his spirit is very much alive and the same. He’s still HERE with me.

The hubby had his brain surgery for a tumor removal February 4th 2011 and we got the cancer diagnosis the following month March 3rd 2011( two days before his birthday). He went through the grueling recovery and aggressive cancer treatment and we reached the year anniversary and he was doing so much better. Then quickly, he wasn’t. But, his fabulous doctor was abruptly relocating out of state at the same time. We were swept up in appointments and tests and procedures and I could barely wrap my head around it.

They thought he was depicting symptoms of his cancer coming back and/or a new tumor.  So an emergency MRI was scheduled the following day. That night his oncologist was catching a flight so we would not actually get to meet  with her after the results, we would have to wait for the nurse assistant to go over the results with us. So day before MRI, last day with his oncologist and with so much unknown she was trying to talk to us about options and possibilities. I had to step out cause the medical transportation was calling and when I returned to the room the doctor had a look on her face like “Oh shit “ and my hubby had a look of sadness on his face I hope to never see ago.

Apparently in my absence, she told him he has 3-5 years to live if the tumor is back.

I was so consumed with anger I could not shed tears. When we got home the hubby with his voice cracking sat down in the kitchen and started to talk.  I was in shock I’m fusing about doing dishes and keeping my hands busy going about a routine.

He started talking while i had my back to him and angrily scrubbing the cleanest dish in the whole world.

“Babe, we’ll talk about this once and we  wont talk about it again. I’ll fight. I’ll fight with all I got to live. To be with you. But, when the time comes… you’ll heal. You’ll love again. You’ll move on”

Tears flowed steadily and I turned around from the sink and whipped around and meant to scream but it barely came out a whisper

“How can I heal from that! I can’t!”

index

We hugged and we cried. Then, together we said fuck what the doctors say. If it’s against statistics and my hubby? I’ll bet on my hubby, any day, any time.

The next day we went off for the MRI and it took them 3 days to get back to us. But when they did there was no reoccurring cancer and no new cancer or tumor.

Its December now, in two more months will be the 2nd year anniversary and he’s still cancer free (though still recovering).

Yet still, every day, in the back of my mind and my heart I have that fear. Fear that my hubby, my love, my best friend, will abruptly and suddenly and prematurely be taken away from me.
images

We both don’t let it hinder or hold us back from living. Yes it affects our future planning. Like unless I get this amazing high paying awesome job, we probably can never afford to get married. You see, he will always need medical insurance. WE won’t be able to afford it as a couple and we won’t qualify for the free stuff like Medicaid as a husband and wife.

But, all that is meaningless. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me he is my soul mate, my love. I love him.

We never took our time together for granted, even before the cancer. But, now, we take extra care to pay extra special attention with our time not only together but with other aspects of our lives.

My life goal? To grow old with my hubby, being those kick ass old people with the sparkle in their eyes and quick to pull a prank.

So my fear? Is not reaching that goal.

weepingangel

*All images I plucked from google images. Just googled weeping angel and saved the images I liked.

 

Over on Swift Expression Blog, she has a series of Challenges ( which I will be doing and posting on my blog as per challenge rules). This Challenge is the Guilty Challenge .For this challenge simple answer the following question:

Does the feeling of guilt serve a purpose? If so, what is it? If it serves no purpose, why not?”

Guilt if a very powerful emotion.
Horribly-Ashamed-300x293

I think as with any emotion its power can be on any side of the spectrum( bad or good). I do believe as human beings we have a responsibility to work to learn what that purpose is. As with anything, if an emotion is all consuming, it will therefore bear negative repercussions. But, what kind of human being would we be if we did not access and address and therefore sufficiently mold our actions according to our emotions? Therefore, I believe guilt is just another life experience and emotion that DOES have a purpose. However, it is up to us, the individual, to learn and grow and figure out what it is. We can let it be a negative motivator… be so grieved and feel so bad it leaves us to NOT live life or pursue dreams or otherwise restrict our life and actions. However, we can feel guilt and choose to use that very human emotion to act as a better person, use the essence of that emotion as motivation to make things right. Give back. Overcome obstacles. Try harder. Be better.
When I feel guilt, I think the purpose of my emotion is stop and think. Access the life challenge and my actions and conclude what I did, what I didn’t do, how I can do better.  Is there any misplaced pride in the way? It’s one of those situations that I use as a “karma check”… kind of like a reality check or a report card when you are in school.  We all have emotions and most people dismiss them as everyday ordinary things. However, the purpose should be to learn and grow from each and every emotion, guilt included.

*Image found on google, googled “ashamhed” and when this image popped up I clicked on it and it let me to this website :
http://notthisgirl.com/yourjourney/horribly-ashamed
Quick peep around the site, and it’s a little dated, but a really awesome site, a site to share your story of sexual assault. Will definitely book mark this site.