Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

writing , writing prompt , writing challenge

Day 12: Bullet point your whole day

I’m going to bullet point yesterday because today is errand day and I slept a big chuck of the morning.


  • 3:00am – Get out of bed to let the dog out of the room, put the light on in the hallway and watch the dog run down the stairs and listen to hear if my dad greets her and will take her out (he goes to sleep super early he usually wakes up around 3:00am).  Did not hear him greet her so stumble down the stairs and  THEN he realizes the dog is staring at him and said he could take her out front.
  • 3:05am  Clean the dog’s paws then pit stop in the bathroom.
  • 3:15 am Praying to fall back asleep.
  • 4:45am Alarm to wake up for work  is blazing.
  • 4:45-5:10am Bathroom regime ( brush teeth, shower , etc).
  • 5:10-5:20am Make coffee.
  • 5:20-6:00am Getting ready process. I start with having a smoke. I sip coffee and check my messages and look up the weather. I look up directions and screen shot what i need for work for the day,today I was winging my workday so didnt really look up anything just bumped up some worksheets on pinterest to have for quick printing access if need be. Then lotion I up and deodorant up and get dressed. Pack my purse. Write a note for the hubby.  Then i sit and finish my cup of coffee and have another smoke and then give the hubby a goodbye kiss ( he is still sleeping) before i leave the room.
  • 6:00-6:15am. Fill up my water bottle and put it in the freezer. Put shoes on.  Picked out an outwear cardigan for the day.  Spent five minutes trying to get the dog out from under the table, had to trick her with a treat to get her to come out.
  • 6:15- 7:00 am  Dog went on an adventure, i was not happy. She pooped badly ( what the hell did she eat?!) and needed a butt bath.
  • 7:00- 7:10 am Gave dog a quick but bath and dried her up.
  • 7:10 -7:15am Ate a bowl of cereal
  • 7:15am-7:30am Brush my hair and brush my teeth again. Grab my water bottle out the freezer and get assembled to head out. Spray body spray. Say bye to the dog.
  • 7:3am-8:00am Commute to work.
  • 8:00-8:10am Buy morning gigantic coffee from Dunk Doughnuts then walk to the office.
  • 8:15-8:30am Morning prep for the work day. Put the coffee pot on. Spoke with co-workers and discussed plan for the day. Got supplies i needed for the day.
  • 8:30-8:40 Go outside to smoke before i clock in
  • 8:45 : Back in the office i start stepping up for group, make cups of coffee and put second pot to brew (attendance incentive if clients come to program early or at least on time they get a cup of coffee)
  • 9:00am-10:00am Ran a group.
  • 10:00am-10:15am Break time , went out for a smoke
  • 10:15am-10:25am Went to the bathroom and waited for my group to be finished using the facilities.
  • 10:25am- 11:30am Group went to a local park for a little while.
  • 11:30am-11:35am Try to figure out how to turn on the smart board.
  • 11:35am -1:00pm Finally got the smart board working so gave a lesson on interviews do’s and don’ts utilizing youtube videos. Held mock interviews until group was dismissed.
  • 1:00pm-1:10pm Smoke break
  • 1:10pm-2:15pm Paperwork/case notes.
  • 2:15pm-2:20pm Another smoke while talking to the hubby on the phone discussing meal agenda before heading to the train.
  • 2:20pm- 3:20pm Travel home, stopped at the atm and then at the pizza spot and got a pizza pie and then went home and almost dropped said pizza when the little doggie was attacking my shins trying to say hello to me.
  • 3:20pm-3:30pm Bathroom stop and I’m a little ocd I have to wash my hands up to my elbows and wash my face.
  • 3:30pm- 4:30pm Stuffed my face. Facebooked.  Smoked a cig. A little relaxing hang out with the hubby .
  • 4:30pm-5:00pm Feed the dog, walked her, cleaned out her water dish and put out fresh water and gave her “the talk” that I’m going out and she needs to be a good doggie and pet and hug her and gave her a treat for good measure.
  • 5:00pm- 5:30pm Freshened up and changed my outfit and fixed myself up a little.
  • 5:30pm-6:30pm Commute to times square where I was meeting a friend ( Dave and Busters).
  • 6:30pm-6:50pm Waited for  friend who was late.
  • 6:50pm-7:15pm Friend arrived and we waited for a table to eat.
  • 7:15pm-9:15pm Eating, Drinking, Talking.
  • 9:15pm-10:15pm Played in the arcade.
  • 10:15pm-11:00pm Sat at the bar having a last drink with friend.
  • 11;00pm-12:00am Friend and I commuted home( we take the same bus/train she just takes it further)
  • 12:oo am-12:10 am  Walked home from bus stop.
  • 12:10am-1:00am  Hubby and dog was waiting for me out front ( i texted when i got off the bus to let him know i was walking). Hugs and kisses all around. Bathroom and clean up ritual ( brush teeth, wash hands and face) and then made sure the dog was cleaned up. Grabbed a few water bottles from the fridge and the three of us went to our room for the night. Hubby and I  changed into pjs then had a smoke together and spoke about our days. We had some cuddles with the doggie and watched a comedy special until we all drifted off to sleep.

That was my day is bullet points.

So, this is my dog Bianca

She was rescued a a little over a year and half ago. Literally ,brought to our door step by a neighbor. He saw my dad ( who was recently ill and recovering from heart surgery) outside everyday and thought he was lonely and had no family so asked him if he wanted the dog. My dad then calls me 730 in the morning and told me to come meet my dog. Thinking he is having a stroke side affect I opened my room door and go to stairs and I see this ball of fluff running up the stairs.

DSCN1701  She isn’t always an easy dog to have.  But she is by far the greatest. I love her so much. She is such a character with the biggest personality ever.


We thought she was Pomeranian.  She was abandoned and mistreated by her original owners and the only paper work  she had was from a breeder in NJ , receipt of purchase , one sole ripped and ragged paper.  Pomeranian was written as the breed.

DSCN1704However, Pomeranian never felt right to us. She is a small dog, but not that small. Her snout is longer than a typical dog of the Pom breed.  We just figured she was mixed and not purebred.

DSCN1700I didn’t care too much because I love her. I love her little furry face. I love her waking me up ( at ungodly early hours) by licking my face and poking me with  her cold wet nose. And when that doesn’t work, she nibbles my nose.

DSCN1699 But the other day, Omar comes running into the room like “OMG i nailed! I nailed Bianca’s breed!”

German Spitz. Cousin to the Pomeranian. I immediately research the breed and its SO Bianca. I think we found her breed.  The characteristics especially.

Bianca doesn’t like to cuddle with me. She doesn’t jump all over me. So, I have to hold her captive. She is my prisoner, my hostage.

DSCN1707 She loves to cuddle with Omar. She jumps all over him. She has no obedience with me.  I call her and she barely even looks at me. Omar looks at her and she goes running. No matter how many times i try to train her, teach her, she just doesnt see me as Alpha. Only Omar has respect from her, he is like the freaking Dog Whisper. He loves her to pieces, but sometimes he gets annoyed with all the kisses and being jumped all over.

I am jealous of all the licks and cuddles he gets.  Sometimes she’ll look me dead in the eye like” yeah , I’m with daddy AND WHAT”DSCN1706 She loves me, i know this. But im a sentimental person and I love to cuddle. So, that’s when I hold her prisoner. Sometimes she’ll immediately lick my face a couple of times, taking pitty on me.  Either way, this is my dog, Bianca. I love her and treat her better than I treat myself. I would spend my last dollar on her and I feed her before I feed myself. So even though she can be a diva, she is MY diva.

Me trying to get Bianca to take a picture with me.

Me trying to get Bianca to take a picture with me.


She is just not having it, wont take a picture. LOL

Is this my first drunk post? I think so .

Well, folks let’s go on an adventure shall we?
Today, well it’s tomorrow when I’m writing this, but I’m talking about Saturday.  Saturday, my day off, I was asked to go hang out by a friend.  Nothing concrete, but I was asked. So i texted back asking when. I was told by my friend he wasn’t up for that specific outing( it was an outdoor walking art gallery) so I said eh okay. I don’t have to comb my hair then and that’s fine too.

Cause i had a hell of a morning.  I had a mini panic attack because I was looking for my banking account information. I had to open a new bank account because my old one is a joint bank account with the hubby. But, my income( if you can call it that) with my retail job will affect his  disability, even though we aren’t married( i call him my hubby but technically we are not legally married, engaged, but for all  official titles I have been demoted to care-taker so not to complicate his insurances and stuff). So I had to open up a new bank account. With a new account they give you a little envelope with the account number written on the front and a few temporary checks. I couldn’t find that envelope anywhere.  I up-ended bags of paperwork and pulled paper work off shelves. I made a mess.

Hour or so later I was about to give up and run to the bank in my pjs paranoid someone is going to steal my little bit of money with the information, then I  found it.

In my kindle case that was sitting right on my night stand.

So, I showered dressed and went about my day. I went to Popeyes twice. Yes, twice. Cause i went to get the hubby his food and i ordered the meal he usually gets. They gave me the wrong order. But, i didn’t check at the store. So i walked all the way home, the hubby found out it was the wrong order.  I took the wrong order back and got what i ordered then walked back home.

Then my brother came home with this beast of a coffee maker. So, or course we had to try it out and try different flavors. Thus, I’m drunk but it’s  334 am as I type this.
So around 6ish i was alone and my friend canceled the outing so i put on a movie and made myself a drink. I watched an old Disney channel original movie, Halloween Town. Actually I watched Part two and part of Part Three of the movie series. I was having a grand ol’ time. The hubby went next door to play video games with my brother. So  was alone, laptop off and my bestie busy tending to a newborn. So it was just me , movie and a cup of imported New Amsterdam vodka.  It was splendid. My dog was walked and sleeping. It was relaxing.

Then my cousin texted me asking if I wanted to drink. I debated ignoring the text but she was coming upstairs ( she lives downstairs in the first floor apartment of my parent’s two family house) to hang out in my brother’s room. So it’s not like i could hide. A little reluctantly, I said I’ll hang for a little bit. I just use my dog as an excuse to bail when i get bored.  Cause I’m not taking her into my brother’s room…all smokey and that. Not good for a little dog. So I  put my dog downstairs with my dad and she got mad I had woken her up to move her so she is pretending it was her idea to relocate and defiantly trotted over to her pillow completely ignoring me.

So i hang out.  I’m drinking and we watched a movie Project X. That was a good movie.  It made me want to go to a party.  So i started drunk texting friends. It’s about the only time you can reliably text me. I tend to ignore my phone. Or forget to respond. But, when drinking and home I hold the best convos via text. So i texted a friend who is also a friend with the friend I was supposed to go out with earlier. She was at the event. With him.

What the fuck bro? I told her he said he wanted to cancel , I was supposed to go. She was properly remorseful and oblivious so I wasn’t mad at her.  And it’s not one of those situations where the guy is after the girl. The guy is gay in a long term committed relationship. The girl, she WAS a lesbian and then turned in her lesbo card for a crush and they dated for several months.

So, I was pissed though. I don’t go out often. I’m not willing to go out often. I asked  a few times if he is going to change his mind let me know. So, it was like a slap in the face. Next time I’m willing to go out, it will be with other people.

OKAY that’s all i wrote last night, ( well technically this morning), so i’m now finishing writing about my night in the afternoon , Sunday.

Anyway, so i said fuck it and kept drinking and hanging out.

We ended up talking about weddings. The definition of a weddings vs marriage. We have a friend getting married next year, but he is doing a destination wedding so the guest has to pay for their own cruise ticket. She was appalled and trashed weddings like that. Then my brother said he is going to be the best man and he is saving for a wedding gift. My cousin almost shit a brick. She adamantly said if you are paying to a go to a wedding you don’t have to give a gift.  No matter what we said, she just couldn’t understand it’s not about the money. It’s about your best friend since you were little. Giving him a great day and best wishes. You WANT to give them a gift.

She’s just bitter she is single.

Things get fuzzy. We talked alot about a lot of things. Then, the munchies hit.

So my brother decides to go on a munchie run at 2am( he wasn’t drinking). Of course the hubby wants food too so I go with my brother.

I’m also out of ciggy’s and luckily my brother was. So we found an 24 hour gas station and we get out of the card and I’m praying they carry my brand of ciggys. My brand isn’t a popular brand. They had it!  Then i hear my brother with a little panic in his voice “wait, i don’t see the newports!”  I didn’t see them either. But, they had his brand too. But my brand they only had  regulars, not 100s.  But smokes are smokes so i go to pay and son of bitch it was almost 13 dollars. I usually pay 11.90. You should have seen my face and how begrudgingly I handed over the cash.  I sucked my teeth all the way back to the car.

Then , we finally pull into a Wendy’s parking lot. Normally, I’m not good with math. I have trouble with basic math. No lie, I am serious. I am good with words, not numbers. Add the drinking. Yeah it was a mess. My brother ended up paying with his card and when i checked the receipt I could not figure out how much cash i owed himit. I handed him a 20 and called it a day.

Now, my brother drives fast. With loud music. It was a mini club in my head.

Not to mention we were in the whole time warped black hole. That’s right. Daylight savings. Time went forward an hour.

So we left at 2am and got home a little after  3am. Wrap your drunk mind around that.

I bring all the food inside and my brother went to his room and I went to mine.

I rarely eat fast food, when i do it’s usually the seafood order or something. But, i got spicy chicken sandwich and french fries. And a soda. I don’t drink soda!

The hubby and I eat and i sat down to write this while eating.

So now, it’s Sunday. I don’t have a full-blown hangover, just that fuzzy state that wont go away. I work closing tonight.

But, its okay. Cause I got drunk last night. I laughed.  I found out character traits of people. I had fun. A few hours of suffering at work is worth it. Though  I don’t know if working missing the airing of The Walking Dead is worth it…lol.


Feb 2011 Superbowl

A Memory, My First Breath- February 4th 2011
I exited the elevator, and made a sharp left into a hallway and then an immediate sharp left again into a waiting room and rushed up, bags in tote, to sign in. I gave Omar’s name and his doctors name and two little old ladies with a smile and reassuring voice spoke calmly to me, as if they could see the whirlwind of panic storming above my head. They handed me a pager and told me when the surgery is over I would immediately be paged to come to the desk and the surgeon would speak to me. After i received my pager, I immediately turned around and left, dragging my baggage taking the stairs one level down.

I made the rounds of calls. Calling my step mother in law to be , I told them it’s happening. Omar is having his brain surgery. I was sternly told to eat and relax. Repeatedly. So i went into the cafeteria grabbed a pre-made sandwich and a the biggest cup for coffee they had. I ate without tasting. Taking a picture of my “meal” as proof and texted it to my step mom in law…more a sarcastic gesture I knew Omar would laugh and shake his head at my audacity.

After i double checked i texted and called everyone to keep them updated, i went to the closest restroom. Then i took the elevator one level up, back to the waiting room.

I sat in the waiting room and hunted down the seat next to an outlet and I plugged my phone in to charge. I started to look around and saw the free refreshments…blessedly free coffee. I wandered over and filled up the tiny coffee cup , wishing I would of kept my big one to refill. I did little more than just sit there and drink my coffee, cup after cup. Seriously those cups were so small.

It’s been about an hour and half and the too quiet waiting room with daytime TV not offering much of a distraction. So before, my mind started working, I grabbed my many bags and exited the waiting room. Seriously, I had alot of bags because I had to empty Omar’s hospital room in case he needed to be moved to a different room. The unspoken message, they had no idea if he would be coming back …at all.

Not knowing where to go, I dragged my bags just outside the waiting room to a bench and decided atleast I have the distraction of people moving about. And blessedly a phone charger was right there so i plugged my phone back in to continue charging. I didn’t , couldn’t, let myself think. I needed to be functional. I needed to keep the worry and stress away. If even a little bit slipped out, I would succumb to it.

Just as I was starting to feel the panic trickling in my views , my phone started to buzz.

Out of all the people to text me, it was an childhood friend. After i updated her about what was going on I received a text back simply asking” Is anyone with you?”. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I responded telling her I am alone. She was away in school and she was dismayed to read I was by myself and apologized for that. But, her text, saved me from panic, a distraction. Sometimes you don’t need to physically be there , to actually be there for a person. I am forever grateful for her text.

After i concluded our texting I was up till 3 hours since Omar entered surgery.

The doctors told me it takes 4-8 hours depending on what they encounter during operation.

I opened my cell phone back up and called my bestie. I would be lost without her. We did what we do best, we talked. We talked and talked about nothing and anything. For over an hour. Then i seen wild crazy hair of a doctor in scrubs walking down the hallway.

Omar’s doctor.

I practically hung up on my friend and ambushed the doctor.

The doctor put his hands up in the universal “calm down, take it easy” gesture and said

“He’s okay.”

I breathed a breath so deep, it felt like I hadn’t breathed in the 4 and half hours I was waiting and I was breathing for the first time in my life.

It’s been two years since that day. The day Omar had his open brain surgery, a piece of skull cut and removed and the resection of a tumor the size of a tennis ball. The following year was full of treatment, chemo and radiation. This past year has been a struggle to regain the ability to do normal things, like walk to the store without feeling like you’re going to pass out.Or managing daily debilitating pain But, blessedly, slowly, very very slowly, he’s gaining his strength back. Everyday, I wake up gasping for breath until I roll over and see Omar and i feel my lungs expand and suck in air greedily.

Yesterday, we watched the super bowl with my family. But, two years ago, he watched the super bowl from his hospital chair , in and out of consciousness, as it was only two days post-surgery.

I’m thankful for every breath since then, and hopefully many more to come.

Related Articles: 
I wrote about my fiancee and his cancer, a retelling of him falling sick -up til surgery, in these following posts. It’s my goal to continue recanting the story, up to present day.  But, for now, here’s what I got.

When it rains, It pours ( Part 1)

My Little Old Polish Angel (Part 2)

I Could Almost Pretend  He Was Sleeping and This Was All a Bad Dream ( Part 3)

Four Days After My Fiancee was Admitted He was Being Prepped For What Turned Out to Be Brain Surgery(Part 4)

A Loving Touch ( Part 5)

As you all know from my last few posts, I did some writing challenges over on a  friend’s blog. If your interested please pop over there and check it out. While doing that Challenge i noticed another blog  , The Daily Post, many were following and doing challenges/writing prompts. So  i popped over to check it out.

Going through that blog it reminded me of  the creative writing group I was part of in college and even the one I was in during high school. Lately, I have been missing school…especially talking to co-workers who are currently students and reading blogs of current students. So when i saw this blog, I instantly knew I was in.

I have been struggling since working my seasonal retail job with time and managing my time. My blogging has taken a negative affect from that. So, I will doing a few of the challenges/prompts to rectify that situation.

This daily prompt is to revisit your childhood and recollect you earliest memory, describe it in detail and explore why this was an experience to stick with you.
This is my memory:

I don’t even remember her name. Yet, when i strain my mind her image  instantly pops into my mind. Blurry and grainy, never focused and sharp. I try so hard to crisp up the memory, sharpen the image, to see her face. I urge my mind to dig deeper and show her to me.

My first friend.


My earliest memory is of her. We were 4 years old and I was living in  a shanty Brooklyn apartment with my family. She lived upstairs and we attended the same kindergarten. I have two memories of her…just two.. though I’m sure we shared many more. When i think of her, my heart instantly supplies comforting and calming feelings. With the exception of soul mates, there is no deeper bond than that made of innocence.

One of the two memories, I remember being allowed out of the apartment to hang out on the stoop. My mother could see us from the apartment window and my older brother was playing on the sidewalk in front the apartment. We were allowed to play from two house down to the left and to the fire hydrant  which was a building and half down to the right. The radius in which our mother could see from the window.

But, this day was special. My mother has given me oreo cookies. I ran out of the apartment and to my friend and we huddled in the shadows of the doorway to the apartment building to share the rare delicious treat. I would eat the cream, she would eat the cookie. When i ponder on this memory, i get the feeling this wasnt the only time we shared cookies. In this memory I remember having 3 oreo cookies and after we laughed and giggled like little kids do she told me she was going away with her parents, back to their home country. Being a child  i didn’t understand the significance of that. I don’t think she did either. Or maybe all the sugar numbed that part. Cause after the cookies and statement , we ran outside and tried to sneak an extra house down where a kid lived who had pet turtles. We wanted to feed the turtles.

In the second memory, I remember holding her hand on the last day of school in class. It was my birthday. It was my last day of going to that school ever. My parents have bought a house( the house we still live in now) and we would move into that house at the end of summer, right before school started. I remember holding my friends hand and we ( as a class) played some silly childhood game I don’t remember what it is. I just remember the room swirling and turning. So i guess it was merry go round or something of that sort. We probably just ran in a circle for hours.

I don’t know her name. I can’t clearly recall her face. Yet, she holds a special place in my heart having given me the gift to experience friendship, honest true and pure friendship, at a very early age. I like to think that is why this is my earliest memory I can remember. I remmber later memories too, like the kid down the block with the turtles teaching me how to chew gum ..with my mouth closed. Or that summer my mother having surgery on her foot and I could no longer go see the turtles cause we couldn’t sneak the extra house down …she was always seated by the window because she was now in a leg cast. But, i think my memories of her are a gift of some sort, to always cherish the time you share with someone. It may not always be “forever'” but it doesn’t make it any less special.

Thank you my friend…wherever you are in the world.

*All images plucked from google images after searching for terms like ” child sharing” and “best friends”.