Posts Tagged ‘life’

Top-10-Reasons-Why-LMS-Implementation-Fail

Why hello there wordpressers. Sooo, the blog challenge was an epic fail. A day got away from me…and the days started to add up. Before i knew it, it was a week later.  A blink of the eye, it was two weeks later.

I admit it was a little overwhelming to post everyday for the blog challenge. Previous challenges I have completed, i used to binge write on my days off and schedule them to publish the day off. This time around, I was attempting to write everyday, not in advance.

I admit, I let the fear of the effort it takes to write prevent me from trying. Once i hit two days, I was like OMG i have so much to write I don’t have the energy for it.

It was just a combination of life taking a toll on me. When I came home from work, I was just done for the day. Things at home were hectic too with my dad having surgery.

My head space was not good.

I may have failed.

But, I am not defeated.

I will try again. I’m aiming for the weekend. I already know work this week is jammed packed and I’m putting in extra time so I’m not going to even bother to set myself up for that failure. But, no plans this weekend. Three day weekend at that. So, that’s the goal I’m aiming for.

I’m thinking of picking up from where I left off with the 30 day challenge.

 

I’m sorry to disappoint to the few people that were following my daily challenge. But, stay tuned, it’s not over yet.

Stay tuned

Posted: June 15, 2016 in Uncategorized
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I’m a bit behind on the blogging challenge.

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  I hope to catch up tomorrow.  I.o.u day 15 (yesterday’s) and day 16 (today’s). Things are a little hectic at home with my dad being in the hospital.

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Marooned

Posted: June 12, 2016 in Uncategorized
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Aruba

Day 13: A place you want to visit. Pictures will express my dream vacation.

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Hawaii

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Tropical island

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Tropical island

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Hidden beaches

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Portugal

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Mexico

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Dubai

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Hawaii

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Tropical beach

writing , writing prompt , writing challenge

Day 12: Bullet point your whole day

I’m going to bullet point yesterday because today is errand day and I slept a big chuck of the morning.

 

  • 3:00am – Get out of bed to let the dog out of the room, put the light on in the hallway and watch the dog run down the stairs and listen to hear if my dad greets her and will take her out (he goes to sleep super early he usually wakes up around 3:00am).  Did not hear him greet her so stumble down the stairs and  THEN he realizes the dog is staring at him and said he could take her out front.
  • 3:05am  Clean the dog’s paws then pit stop in the bathroom.
  • 3:15 am Praying to fall back asleep.
  • 4:45am Alarm to wake up for work  is blazing.
  • 4:45-5:10am Bathroom regime ( brush teeth, shower , etc).
  • 5:10-5:20am Make coffee.
  • 5:20-6:00am Getting ready process. I start with having a smoke. I sip coffee and check my messages and look up the weather. I look up directions and screen shot what i need for work for the day,today I was winging my workday so didnt really look up anything just bumped up some worksheets on pinterest to have for quick printing access if need be. Then lotion I up and deodorant up and get dressed. Pack my purse. Write a note for the hubby.  Then i sit and finish my cup of coffee and have another smoke and then give the hubby a goodbye kiss ( he is still sleeping) before i leave the room.
  • 6:00-6:15am. Fill up my water bottle and put it in the freezer. Put shoes on.  Picked out an outwear cardigan for the day.  Spent five minutes trying to get the dog out from under the table, had to trick her with a treat to get her to come out.
  • 6:15- 7:00 am  Dog went on an adventure, i was not happy. She pooped badly ( what the hell did she eat?!) and needed a butt bath.
  • 7:00- 7:10 am Gave dog a quick but bath and dried her up.
  • 7:10 -7:15am Ate a bowl of cereal
  • 7:15am-7:30am Brush my hair and brush my teeth again. Grab my water bottle out the freezer and get assembled to head out. Spray body spray. Say bye to the dog.
  • 7:3am-8:00am Commute to work.
  • 8:00-8:10am Buy morning gigantic coffee from Dunk Doughnuts then walk to the office.
  • 8:15-8:30am Morning prep for the work day. Put the coffee pot on. Spoke with co-workers and discussed plan for the day. Got supplies i needed for the day.
  • 8:30-8:40 Go outside to smoke before i clock in
  • 8:45 : Back in the office i start stepping up for group, make cups of coffee and put second pot to brew (attendance incentive if clients come to program early or at least on time they get a cup of coffee)
  • 9:00am-10:00am Ran a group.
  • 10:00am-10:15am Break time , went out for a smoke
  • 10:15am-10:25am Went to the bathroom and waited for my group to be finished using the facilities.
  • 10:25am- 11:30am Group went to a local park for a little while.
  • 11:30am-11:35am Try to figure out how to turn on the smart board.
  • 11:35am -1:00pm Finally got the smart board working so gave a lesson on interviews do’s and don’ts utilizing youtube videos. Held mock interviews until group was dismissed.
  • 1:00pm-1:10pm Smoke break
  • 1:10pm-2:15pm Paperwork/case notes.
  • 2:15pm-2:20pm Another smoke while talking to the hubby on the phone discussing meal agenda before heading to the train.
  • 2:20pm- 3:20pm Travel home, stopped at the atm and then at the pizza spot and got a pizza pie and then went home and almost dropped said pizza when the little doggie was attacking my shins trying to say hello to me.
  • 3:20pm-3:30pm Bathroom stop and I’m a little ocd I have to wash my hands up to my elbows and wash my face.
  • 3:30pm- 4:30pm Stuffed my face. Facebooked.  Smoked a cig. A little relaxing hang out with the hubby .
  • 4:30pm-5:00pm Feed the dog, walked her, cleaned out her water dish and put out fresh water and gave her “the talk” that I’m going out and she needs to be a good doggie and pet and hug her and gave her a treat for good measure.
  • 5:00pm- 5:30pm Freshened up and changed my outfit and fixed myself up a little.
  • 5:30pm-6:30pm Commute to times square where I was meeting a friend ( Dave and Busters).
  • 6:30pm-6:50pm Waited for  friend who was late.
  • 6:50pm-7:15pm Friend arrived and we waited for a table to eat.
  • 7:15pm-9:15pm Eating, Drinking, Talking.
  • 9:15pm-10:15pm Played in the arcade.
  • 10:15pm-11:00pm Sat at the bar having a last drink with friend.
  • 11;00pm-12:00am Friend and I commuted home( we take the same bus/train she just takes it further)
  • 12:oo am-12:10 am  Walked home from bus stop.
  • 12:10am-1:00am  Hubby and dog was waiting for me out front ( i texted when i got off the bus to let him know i was walking). Hugs and kisses all around. Bathroom and clean up ritual ( brush teeth, wash hands and face) and then made sure the dog was cleaned up. Grabbed a few water bottles from the fridge and the three of us went to our room for the night. Hubby and I  changed into pjs then had a smoke together and spoke about our days. We had some cuddles with the doggie and watched a comedy special until we all drifted off to sleep.

That was my day is bullet points.

writing , writing prompt , writing challengeDay 9 : If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

 

And that’s the million dollar question. I haven’t quite figured it out what I want my dream career to be.

 

I did enjoy working retail. Not so much the crap pay, hours and crappy people. I did love though, being in charge of my department, maintaining inventory, pricing and visuals. It was my own little world. I was the expert. I love redoing whole fixtures,sizing, restocking and refolding shelves creating  master pieces of displays.  I even loved Black Friday, finding and tossing jeans piles at a time to customers in record time. 13414494_10206874252195095_514131368_n

I do love my current job, working in  a day service program with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.  It’s rewarding and gratifying work. It’s heart warming and positive. Everyday, i make a difference and that’s a good feeling. It’s tons of fun at times. It’s stressful and a lot of pressure and often times so tiring when you come home from work you have no energy to do anything.

 

But as for life long careers? I’m not sure.

 

I do know, i like to be home. I like to clean. I like to cook. I like home projects. I love tending to the dog. I love to read. I love to write. Ideally, my dream job would give me the ability to work at home, hours of my choice. It would give me freedom and flexibility to volunteer in program like i currently work, animal shelters and green earth organizations.  I just want the financial security and the freedom to invest in things I love and have the ability to satisfy all my humanitarian interests.

Do you know what the job is ? I sure haven’t figured it out…

writing , writing prompt , writing challenge

Day  8: Discuss a moment when you felt most satisfied with your life.

 

I’ll be honest with you, I’m struggling a bit over here. I’m not having a big grand AH HA! moment. The light bulb is flickering. But, it’s just not lighting up all the way. I’m not really defining ONE big grand spectacular moment.

For me, i tend to be a humble person. Sometimes, almost to a fault, i put more energy and effort into other people than myself. I’m most proud of my character and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I define myself as having a heart of gold and stating this isn’t even narcissistic. I do things for other people that not many people would.

Of course, i think of the hubby and surviving two brain surgeries and the upstanding spouse I have been ( and will always be) but to me that doesn’t fall under this question. Most of this situation would be HIS moments. Not mine.

If i was to define a moment I felt most satisfied with my life it would in some aspect encompass this nurturing heart I have for others.

Like one of my former co-workers/good friend dated a guy for three years. This guy was an awesome guy. He was a great worker. He had goals and ambitions that he was actively working on. He was an awesome friend.

But…

He was a shitty ass boyfriend though.  These two dated for three years until finally they broke up.

She was crushed.

And then Valentines Day was rolling around.

I knew she would be extra emotional , it being the first V-Day single.  So i surprised her with a gift.  A cute card. Some chocolate. A teddy bear. Candy. Random dollar store items. I just got a big gift bag and stuffed it full of stuff to make her smile.

She loved it and appreciated it so much and she worked her shift with her spirits lifted.

That made my heart swell. Knowing i brought comfort and peace to a good person.

It’s the little things like this that i look back on and feel the most accomplishment and satisfaction.

Or the accumulation of little actions and gestures adding up. Like at my job. When a client finally learns and understands something I’ve been teaching them. When they finally learn to travel to a new place after many , many stressful train rides. When they can go into the store, purchase items on their own and count their change after many many manyyyyy  mornings of doing math with them before coffee.  Or when one of my Deaf Clients finally learns a new sign or FINALLY memorized their schedule and I don’t have to hunt down visuals five minutes before program starts.

It’s the consistency that makes me most satisfied with life. The effort.

I’m a simple person. All i need to feel amazing with life and myself is to be true to my heart. From others, i just need a little bit of effort( not even pertaining to me but their task or goal).

 

So, no I don’t have a big grand moment when I felt most satisfied with life. It’s the little things that matter most to me.

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Day Six: What is your Zodiac Sign and does it fit your personality?

My Sign is a Gemini. I always identified with the characteristics of a Gemini and felt it fit my personality well.  I will analyze Gemini and it’s characteristics and my opinion . Bold will be the analysis from this site.  Also, i used a horoscope explanation from a Facebook meme but couldn’t find it’s creator . All images are from google images while searching Gemini tag.

This part is from the FB meme:

gemini , zodiac , horoscope“In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini’s ruler – Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news – which might explain why those born under the sign of the ‘Twins’ are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are multi-faceted souls who enjoy knowing a little bit of everything but generally not too much about one particular subject. It’s just that variety is the spice of their lives!”
– I agree with this 100%. I have basic intro 101 knowledge on so much random topics but once i learn the basics i move on. i haven’t found something to hold my attention yet that i would actually pursue further examination. I rather be knowledgeable about a lot than be fluent in a little.

“In Astrology, Geminis have also gained the reputation of being the incessant talkers of the zodiac. Those Twins that don’t have the ‘gift of the gab’ are usually talented writers or have a special interest in foreign languages. In love, they look for a partner who can keep up with them mentally and physically! And, to quote Oscar Wilde, “there’s one thing worse than people talking about you, that’s people not talking about you.” Whether Geminis like it or not, people are usually “talking about them”. Together with Scorpio and Virgos, they are a sign that is often discussed, dissected and sometimes even put down by the other signs of the zodiac. Sometimes this is a subtle form of jealousy by others, because Geminis do lead very unique and unusual lives. The Gemini personality can appear mysterious or detached to others and therefore they are often misunderstood and unappreciated for the talents they offer to the world at large.”
– I also agree with this. I prefer the written word and exchange proficiently and profoundly through it. When exchanging in person, i tend to like to listen and observe.  I much more prefer to have exchanges through writings. I do haven an appeal to different languages. I majored in American sign language.  One of my defining factors of a mate is intellect and i found that in my hubby. We can pass banter one minute and the next have a profound talk about the meaning of life. He not only has the ability to switch topics he is even more affluent in topics I’m not familiar with and presents new evidence to dissect and debate.  I personally do feel people are always talking about me.  I don’t personally care though.

gemini-heart-david-bollt“Another reason Geminis evoke so much interest is many born under this sign are multi-dimensionally talented. In money matters, some Geminis are very adept and quick at making it…and spending it too. Many Geminis are involved in international financial wheeling and dealing. They love the adventure and game playing involved in out-thinking other people. Gemini’s can be very haphazard about their financial affairs too, with many of them ending up in divorce courts mainly because their partners have become tired of living on the edge of a financial precipice.”
– This made me laugh.  I think its true. I don’t hold money in high regards. Shit, the other day i went into rite aid and just picked up stuff i needed and what caught my eye and when the cashier told me the total i was like holy shit.  She prompted me to swipe my card I was like lady give me a minute i need to pep talk myself to swipe. I do spend money quickly. However, I’m a saver.  Or try to be at-least.  I’m a planner for sure. I know i need x y and z paid and i need this amount for co-payment for this  so i plan all the responsible bills and services in advance. I’m big on sorting money in envelopes, putting it aside for its purpose in advanced. I am conscious of the going and coming of my money but I’m just in the life circumstance where I’m living pay check to pay check.  I feel i do manage money well. I make sure everything is bought and paid for and i try to shop economically.  Just don’t let me go into a dollar store unattended…

stock-photo-zodiac-sign-gemini-white-line-astrological-symbol-with-caption-dates-planet-and-element-on-258241157“Characteristics of Gemini . Source from this site:
The constellation of Gemini depicts a set of twins, Castor and Polydeuces. It is from this picture that the zodiac draws the archetypal Gemini sign. Gemini is the legendary dualistic sign of the zodiac and is rumored to have almost a split persona, thus channeling the twin depiction. However, this dualism isn’t as simple as a personality split. Oftentimes, what is believed by others to be a dual personality is really a discrepancy between how the Gemini would like to be seen, and how he really is.
    A passion for novelty
    A curious disposition
    Socially outgoing
    Witty in speech and prone to banter
    Creative and quick to task
    Emotionally unreachable and difficult to pin down”
– My analysis .
I always identified with Gemini and duel personalities aspects. I always felt like i had two distinct sides. Growing up , I was always a polite well mannered nerd.  During high-school I would report to all my classes, do all my work and get straight A’s.  Once three o clock hit, my books went into my locker and my purse was swung over my shoulder and the party started. I partied and partied hard. Yet , i kept my two distinct personalities separate.  The only constant was my honesty and kindness that transferred from books to bars. Yes, i was underage at party events.  In discussion with the hubby this morning while researching our zodiac signs, he doesn’t perceive this to be a split persona. He interprets this just a good sense of work ethic and professionalism. He argued it’s something we all do, we all put on smile and good manners and work our 9-5 and that usually is a sugar coated version of ourselves for the sake of professionalism in a work environment. It made me ponder .I always identified so strong with the twin aspect of Gemini’s and thought it totally summed me up. However, now I’m just wondering if that’s just a professionalism trait and not an astrological trait.  Also, no matter the  environment i carry the same desire to be seen and respected in the same manner. I don’t portray myself in any way other than me .I don’t have assumptions on how people should decipher me. So, i don’t necessarily have that struggle of being seen one way and wanting to be seen in another. I’m the type of person that is very much you get what you see and i don’t particularly care if you like it or not.

31ca6a1a9555582e10f9ee30e663c09bI do agree with having a passion for novelty , curiosity and creativity. I would say though not so much in interpersonal interactions. I prefer through written word rather than face to face. That goes to say I’m not that socially out going. I used to be , for sure. But, now i evolved into a homebody. I’m perfectly happy to stay home with a good book, or even crappy reality tv show with the hubby and my dog.  Also, i do no agree with the emotional aspect at all. At times i wear my heart on my sleeve.  I’m an emphatic person and compassionate.  I do tend to put myself second to others but I’m highly in tuned to my emotions.

“Romantic Pursuits
In relationships, Geminis tend to theorize. They often look at “How I should feel” above “How I actually feel.” This causes them to get involved in relationships they are not ready for and those for which they are poorly matched. Also, because he is ever-chasing new pursuits, it is very difficult for a Gemini to accept commitment. This sign will always be seeking “the best of the best.””
This made me snicker.  I do agree as a teen i dated some people that make me scratch my head now. I do guess i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and so overlook red  flags. I also tend to think i can fix people, help them. However, I’m loyal to a fault. If I commit , i commit for all I’m worth.  With my hubby for instance, never for an instance did i think of not committing to him.  People often seem shocked and amazed that i stayed with him through all we have underwent.  It amazes me people would think of leaving when times are tough…that is a concept i don’t understand. I stand by my partner, good,bad, health and illness. I don’t fear commitment, at-least not to my knowledge.

Gemini“On the Job
Though easily distracted, Geminis can be excellent in the work force. They are not grunt laborers, however. If the job is interesting and appealing, the Gemini will get more done before lunch than his co-workers will accomplish all week. If the task at hand seems mundane and boring, he will procrastinate for a short time before moving on to a more challenging career
Gemini personalities love to be informed about all that is going on at the work place; they will look to their co-workers for input and advice. In spite of their insistence on being in the limelight, Geminis are great team players.”

-This is pretty spot on for me. I have a great work ethic. I laughed aloud  at the getting more done before lunch then my coworkers for the week.  That couldn’t be more true. I never attributed my work ethic to my astrological sign. I often wondered where i derived it from.

hellandbrand_gemini“Overall Gemini
Gemini is not actually two minds. This seeming battle of personalities is often the result of a conflict between the emotions and the intellect. There is often a disconnect in most air signs between introspection and actuality. Geminis are theorizers, so they can be prone to believe they feel or need something that they actually do not. This is why a Gemini has an excellent time behaving politely when he is peeved, and is smitten when his heart is secretly wandering. Before an outsider can discern what a Gemini really wants, it is important for the Gemini to work out such issues himself.Despite the world’s wealth of knowledge and opportunity, a Gemini’s main challenge will be to know himself.”
-I would say  i agree with parts if this. I often struggle with my passions and humanitarian side and realistic means to make ends meet. I struggle with following my heart and what the responsible adult thing is to do. But isn’t this simply a problem humans face during their phase of development?  Maybe being a Gemini adds to the struggle because we’re unwilling to compromise with matters of our heart and mind.  I am good at compartmentalizing my emotions, i can leave my problems at the door and go about my day with a smile on my face. I can be steaming angry and you would never know it- though as i get older i don’t care to hide it anymore. I feel like i know myself well however i have not found the balance to nourish both my passions and realistic living  but i don’t feel it’s a challenge related to knowing myself. I think the challenge lies in living in such an enclosed environment and finding a way to survive without conforming and still have money to pay the bills .

Overall, I do seem many traits of myself and personality that falls under Gemini. But there was a lot of small things that didn’t quite fit. I spent the morning with the hubby going through all the signs and i actually believe i sound more like a Cancer sign than a Gemini… but that’s a discussion and exploration for a whole entire different post.

blog, blogging, blogging challenge, write, writing prompts, life

 

Day Four: Discuss your views on religion

I was raised Roman Catholic. I was in Catholic school until high school. I think when your in this type of strict and religious environment you are denied the options of choice. You are not introduced to faith, you are being told what to believe, when to believe it and how to believe and depict faith. Then criticized if it’s not their definition of a right depiction.   Your homework assignment is to attend Sunday Mass and write about the sermon then be graded on it in class… grade your faith? That’s basically being conditioned to believe that if you don’t know all the patron saints or all the milestones of Jesus Christ it’s solely because you are lacking in faith and therefore disappointing your Lord and Savior and falling prey to a life of unholiness and sin. Who is anyone to determine your relationship and standing with God?

And holy hell, those nuns. One Sister held me back for detention for hours to repetitively write  o’s correctly in cursive.  You never catch me writing in script since elementary school.

The moment I entered high school I stopped attending church services.  Truth be told, I stopped believing in traditional religion in a church setting long before then.

For awhile, I’m going to guesstimate around 12 years old, i seriously believed in Wicca. There was something about the simplicity of spirituality and connecting to nature.  And a Goddess. I vividly remember one Saturday my family took a trip to the racetrack. I brought with me various books on Wicca and a notebook and i dutifully spent the day taking notes in my notebook.

I drifted from Wicca during high school.

And i was adrift for quite some time.

I studied various religions  like Buddhism and Islam.

Nothing seemed right. Nothing fit me 100%. Something always left  a nagging  feeling.
So you know what i did? I put aspects from every religion i know that connected with me and I stirred it up.

And that’s what I practice and believe in.

I believe there is a God. But i also believe there is many Gods and Goddesses. I believe in nature and there is spiritual connections to mother nature. I believe in Peace. I believe in the Three Folds Law, whatever energy you send out into the world is returned to you three times. I believe in Karma. I believe in heaven and hell but  i also believe in reincarnation. I do tie in beliefs to supernatural happenings,  I believe in angels and guardian angels and ghosts.

I believe all traditional religions are right and all are wrong at the same time.

I pray. I pray to my maker – you call it God or Goddess or any other name. I just identify with a higher entity and usually i call it a God. But, i do believe in a Goddess as well ( mother nature ).  When i pray I’m not reciting a memorized mantra. It’s like talking just like I am talking to you all here. I live my life with a moral code. I try to make better choices  and treat myself and others with compassion an respect.  I face life with understanding for others and consideration. I practice being open and honest.

I do no identify with organized traditional religions. I do believe we have choices and should not live our lives line for line according to a doctrine. Life has much fluidity. We have to be willing to be swept into the currents. I believe religions are like a dam preventing life from flowing. If the official labels are taking off and the wall is brought down then we can freely swift through the waves of life.

waves

 

 

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Day Two: Where would you like to be in ten years?
The vision for the future is ever changing.
          Surrounded by meadows of wheat and wild flowers with country’s miles away from another soul.flowers, field, wild, country, country living, life

Quaint one family ranch house with a backyard of grass for the dogs to run.

mediterranean, backyard, suburbs ,

15th floor penthouse view overlooking the New York City skyline.
nyc, ny , new york, penthouse, view, city , city live, condos

Fluidity of wants and needs are forever overlapping like a wave crescendo . In tens years from now…. I’m not sure what shores I will wash upon.

I can see myself sweeping pollen off my porch steps yet at the same time I can see myself drinking martini’s on a rooftop. To me, home is where the heart is. heart, happy, happiness, love, home
I know no matter where the vasts oceans of life takes me, I will be happy as long as the people I love most are with me. So ten years from now where do I see myself ? I couldn’t say where I will be living nor what career I would have. I can say though, ten years from now, wherever I end up…
I will be happy.

happy, happiness, peace

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Day One: Discuss your current relationship

The hubby and  I have been together for almost 9 years. Fun Fact, even though I call him my hubby we are not officially married. I mean, we made common law several years ago, but married officially with a wedding license? We have not officially tied the knot.

We got engaged back in 2010.  Back then, i was finishing my AA degree in a community college just the same time when my dad fell ill.  My dad was in a nursing here for a short stint after his heart attack because he needed IV treatments everyday.  The hubby and I, like everyday, went to visit him.  My dad had a private room because of his super awesome people skills( sarcasm).  My dad was sitting up  on his bed and the hubby was sitting adjacent to the bed chit chatting with my dad. I was on the other side of the room fiddling with the wheel chair. I was idly wheeling back and forth in place while the two chit chatted.

The hubby suddenly goes to ask my dad:

Hubby: “Jim  I wanted to asked you something”
Dad: “Sure what is it?”
Hubby: ” I wanted to ask your permission for Tash’s hand in marriage, would that be alright for you?”

At this point my hand jerked on the wheel chair and i rolled myself suddenly across the room into the open bathroom several feet in front of me.

Dad: ” Of course! I don’t got a problem with it! You gotta make sure Tash doesn’t  have a problem with it.”

Hubby: ” Babe you got a problem with it?”

Me: trying to wheel myself backwards out the bathroom: ” HUHhh, nooo I don’t got a problem with it!”

Hubby and Dad resume chit chatting.

After we left the nursing home the hubby and I was walking up to the bus stop to take the bus home. I asked him if he was serious. He was like

Hubby: “yup, will you marry me?”
Me: ”  Well , yeah!”
Hubby :  “cool then we’re getting married. ”

And that was that.  That’s how we got engaged .  The bus arrived and we got on the bus and shared quiet comments of annoyances of the school kids around us. Later when we got home we spoke about it some more  and then we spread the word to family , friends and social media.

It wasn’t a big grand spectacular fiasco. But, i adore our engagement story. It’s so real life and true to our personalities. The hubby is such a matter of fact guy , always to the point , bold and no frills.  It was random, and yet at the same time it wasn’t random. It fit. It was perfect to us. I loved that technically I was proposed to at a bus stop that we frequent. It was all so NYC to me.

I don’t like rings and I stated long before he proposed that i opt out for an engagement ring and in its place when we have our first place of our own he build me a bookcase/library fitting for the space.

At this point in our lives, it was before the hubby fell ill. We were ready to go to city hall and tie the knot.  We wanted to wait until my dad was recovered.  Also, the hubby was interested in enlisting and and I wanted to see my dad through before I became a traveling army wife.

But what ended up happening is the hubby fell ill. This was when the hubby had his first seizure attack and we discovered he had stage three brain cancer , oligodendroglioma.

Then marriage became a tax issue. If we were to marry, the hubby would not qualify for health issue. His access to medical insurance was and is way more important.

All his medical staff adored us as a engaged couple. Doctor’s often give me orders to ensure the hubby keeps his appointments and when they think the hubby is sugar coating his symptoms they turn to me and ask me what he is holding back.  They not only cared for the hubby but extended the care and affection to me as well.
It’s been five years, and the hubby fell ill again last year and had a second brain surgery. When we reunited with all his medical staff that treated him the first time they were all surprised we were still engaged. “Is this the never ending engagement?!”

Oddly enough, it doesn’t bother me. I know it bothers the hubby sometimes, he’s a tad bit old school and wants to make an honest woman out of me. But, to me? I don’t need a marriage license. We are married. In every way possible. The bond and connection we have can not be denied and i don’t need to check off a little box that says married to feel validated about my relationship.

He’s my poopie head, now and Always.