Posts Tagged ‘peace’

Oneness
oneness_speaks
When I hear the word oneness I automatically think of peace and serenity. I think oneness is something we all subconsciously seek. I know personally, I finally understand that is what I’m seeking. I’m seeking a sense of oneness within myself. A sense of acceptance and love… from myself. I feel we all battle ourselves and our subconscious and half the battle is figuring out we’re in a fight with ourselves to begin with. As humans, I believe our lives are mostly reaching that point of satisfactions and  feeling of not waning or needing  anything. To achieve that sense of oneness with our spirit. I personally, long for the day my spirit and conscious mind are one and to embrace the feeling of peace and contentment.

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Please visit Linda’s blog for all the participants of Just jot it Jan http://lindaghill.com/2016/01/26/just-jot-it-january-26th-oneness/

March B4 Peace Post
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Please feel free to check out Bloggers for Peace and this month’s challenge here. Kozo is the founder of B4 Peace and feel free to check it out on his blog here.

This month’s B4 Peace prompt is about children. Here is the prompt posted from Kozo’s page:
“Let’s focus on children. How can we teach children to prioritize peace? How did you experience peace as a child? What in your upbringing made you a Blogger for Peace?”

Just want to start off saying, I’m not a parent. But upon contemplation of this, there is only one recurring thing in my head. How can you teach peace towards your child? It’s simple.

Just be a Parent.

It really is that simple to me.  As you all know, i work retail. I see children running amok every single day. I can’t leave my area at work. I have to stand there and watch your child throw a public tantrum and you just stand there and take it, both screaming inches from your face and little fists flying into your body. I have to hear the impossibly high screeching of your child screaming at the top of their lungs continuously. And the probability is you are probably the 3rd or 4th parents I watched standing abide while your child has a hissy fit for the day. That’s not even counting the unattended children I encounter throughout the day.

In the Levi’s section at my job, we have a Denim Bar. Behind the bar are cubbies we used to hold additional stock. I was cleaning out the cubbies, sizing the jeans and sorting by style and what not. I walk away to help a customer and i return and  see eyes staring back at me out of the cubbie. Yes, your child has climbed inside the cubbie and you are no where to be found. Now, I have to “ask” a strange child to not play in there while they laugh and stay inside the cubbie.

I’m just saying,  I know kids will be kids and even the best of parents will have moments of their children acting out. But, I see so much BAD parenting everyday.

I just think, it’s not so much as instilling this grander sense of peace and “what peace is” to a child. I truly belive it’s the little things you can teach your child.  It’s the everyday interaction you have with your child and the everyday interaction your child has with the world that foster them and their character.

I grew up being taught to respect your elders, and have manners and be polite. I live my life by these standards, of being kind to strangers, offering help to strangers. I give up my seat on the bus to those in need. I’ll stop to help you cross the street. I’ll be considerate and kind without a second thought. That’s how i grew up and it is natural to me.

That’s why  i believe, it’s simple. Just be a parent. Everyday. Teach your children about being polite, having manners. Teach them to help others, to share. As your child grows you teach them about respect and relationships. You just be there for them and teach them these basic human decencies.

If we grow up learning how to act with others, then that transfers with us into adulthood and stays with us for life. Just being raised to care about other people and be kind and considerate is basically the core principles of where peace come from. Peace comes from within each of us and the kindness we exert onto the world.

We just teach our children to be kind and caring . Just be present by being active in your child and their interactions with the world.

Just be a parent. Everyday.  And your child will grow up knowing peace.

 

As per spirit of Bloggers for Peace here is another B4 post from another blogger:
http://peacegarret.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/a-peace-lesson-for-children-from-a-nazi/

January B4 Peace Post.
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You can read about Blogger’s for Peace on Kozo‘s blog and Read this month’s B4 Peace post here.
The prompt this month is simple :

What one thought will you focus on this year to bring more peace?

Commit.

See, I told you this was easy.  I make resolutions every year and I never see them thorough.

I’m the type of person that is compulsive obsessive or utterly uninterested. I’m a being of extremes. Even with the small things. I don’t just watch a TV series. I watch every episode ever made in day long marathons with little to no sleep. The same with books. I don’t just read the latest release, I binge read the entire series first. As with everything I do ,( be it reading or writing or whatever task) i do it fully and completely until I plateau. Then i just stop, and move on to the next thing.

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So this year, I want to change that. I want to commit. Fully and consistently. I have been watching my TV series, as they air, one episode at a time. I have been reading everyday. True some days I read an entire book and others I read a few pages. But, i believe reading just a few single pages is better than letting myself stop all together. The same with blogging. I log on everyday. Some days I post. Some days I don’t. But i come on every day. Some days I spend hours. Others i spend minutes. But, I’m making the effort to commit.

So this year, that’s my motto. My aspiration. My goal. It’s easy to focus on one task at a time. But maintaining that is a whole different story. This year, I’m going for longevity. I don’t want to do something awesome one time and not do anything awesome for long periods of time.

I want to be and create a little piece of awesome everyday.

I want to commit.

Committing will make me feel like a better person, like I’m trying to reach my passions. It will bring peace to myself, just knowing I committed and I tried.

 

As per the spirit of Bloggers for Peace, here is another B4 Peace post by another Blogger:

 http://humaninrecovery.wordpress.com/2014/01/13/b4peace-2014-living-in-the-presence-of-an-attitude-of-gratitude/

Because I’m lazy here is a copy and pasted prompt  for October’s B4 Peace Post directly taken from Kozo’s page

Let’s visualize what a peaceful world will look like. For this month’s peace challenge, I challenge you to publish what your dream of peace looks like. Here are a few prompts. Feel free to use one or create your own.

  • With as much detail as possible, describe a day in a world full of peace.
  • What would the radio, internet, television sound/look like in a peaceful world?
  • Pick a spot in the world today that has conflict and re-vision this area as peaceful.
  • What would all the people who are in active duty to conflict do if we had world peace? How would we alter our spending, resources, and brain power if we didn’t have to worry about war?
  • Describe the world you want your children to live in. How would they feel? What would they be doing and with whom?
  • Pretend you are the only one living who remembers a world without peace. How would you describe how grateful you are to be living in a peaceful world?

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Growing up others always called me an hippy. It was category i grew to feel proud to be labeled as. I genuinely was a caring and kind person.  I really and truly desired a world without war and living everyday without crime or attacks or dangers. I grew up wishing we all could just hold hands and get along.

With age, ( I know I’m only 25 but it’s been a rock road for me) it’s more a world with feeling I desire. For me, a world with peace wouldn’t look like anything. It would feel like something.

If we lived in a peaceful world, i imagine everyone being happy and kind all the time without doubt and suspicions and selfishness driving them.

If you have kids, imagine sending your kids off to school and feeling happy about it. Without worry of your kids being harassed or bullied. Without worrying of your child feeling inadequate and compared to the other kids. Without fear a child will bring a gun into the school and steal many young lives. Imagine every child being loved and cared for and unafraid.  Imagine without that fear and worry how happy and how much we can all thrive.

Imagine politics didn’t run the workplace. Just honest hard work and work ethic. Imagine people look at you and the work you produce and say thank you good job. A world with peace with provide that feeling.

A world without peace robs us of a sense of security. Without that security we turn selfish and cold and uncaring towards other and their plights. Instead of helping each other we trample each other to carve out a bigger slice for ourselves and our immediate families.

If we didn’t live by fear and doubt and worry, the whole world would be a big family. We wouldn’t mind “getting involved” when someone is being mistreated or harmed. We wouldn’t if a man loves another man or a woman loves another woman . It wouldn’t matter if you are a male or female or the color of your skin. We all would help each other, care about each other and help each other prosper.

A world with peace would be a world with feelings. Positives feelings. A world with peace doesn’t necessarily look like anything to me. I just imagine feeling a lot more thankful and happy and proud to be part of it all.

This month’s blogging for Peace post is is a great one. Peace on the Go. Sometimes we need a quick quote or image or gesture to inspire us and pick us up. This month’s B4Peace Post is to provide a quick message of peace. You can check out all about Bloggers for Peace on Kozo’s page here and search B4Peace tags.

And since I can never do something simple, i have picked a few quotes that have been a favorite of mine over the years or simply resonates with me while doing this post. Enjoy!

Jimi Hendrix has always been a favorite of mine.

Jimi, peace, quotes,

Source

Gandhi  another favorite of mine and he has some many enlightening quotes so i tried to picked my real favorites and not the popular ones.

John Lennon  has a quite a few I love ” Give Peace a Chance” and ” Imagine” are well-known token “peace” icons. But here are some others too.

forpeace6A song for Peace, July’s B4Peace Post Challenge. This is more of a poem than a song. My message is there cannot be peace without love.

Loveless Peace

Take my crown
King means nothing
to me now
You can be my heir
cause I won’t rule
when love isn’t near
Peace can’t exist
without love here

I can’t

So take my crown
it means nothing to me now
nothing to me now
nothing.

I can’t endure no more
take no more
Watch no more
without love here

I can’t be brave
Pave  the way
lead an army
keep my people out of harm’s way

I can’t

So
Take my crown
King means nothing
to me now
You can be my heir
cause I won’t rule
when love isn’t near
Peace can’t exist
without love here

I can’t

So take my crown
it means nothing to me now
nothing to me now
nothing.

The only one who can calm my inner qualms
My hearts true desire
The only one who can quiet the passing storms.

Love

the only one who makes me steady
picks me up when I am down
gives me strength to go on
Love
The only one who makes me see
Peace
rising across the horizon over the sea

Love.

Without love  the war rages on.
Havoc.
There is no point in fighting
for peace.
without love
it cannot exist

The fight is worthless
happiness cannot happen
Peace cannot take place
When  love isn’t there
to cleanse the field
for a new horizon.

So take my crown
it means nothing to me now
nothing to me now
nothing.
I can’t endure no more
take no more
Watch no more
without love here

I can’t be brave
Pave  the way
lead an army
keep my people out of harm’s way

I can’t

So take my crown
it means nothing to me now
nothing to me now
nothing.

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Excerpt taken directly from Kozo’s page for June’s B4Peace Challenge:
For this month’s peace challenge, I encourage you to write a letter for peace and send it out into the Universe. You may not get an answer, but you will make a difference. Here are some suggestions.
Write a letter to a person in power, past or present. Let them know what you feel about the state of the world under their control. Here is a great example from a teenage girl in Pakistan: People Aren’t Made For Slaughter. Cattle Are..
Write a letter to God, the Universe, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, or any other spiritual leader. One of my favorite books is Conversations with God, which consists of a series of letters to and from God. Feel free to have your spiritual leader answer your letter.
Write an epistolary story that explores peace.
Write a letter you would like to receive from peace.
Post a photo, video, story, or piece of art that explores the intersection of writing and peace.
Do a stream of conscious letter to anyone. Rant, scream, cry, and/or swear for peace. This might be best done with a pen and transcribed or scanned into your post.
Since this challenge is about letters and peace, anything you do will meet the challenge.

I am choosing to do a stream of conscious letter.


Dear Universe,

Assholes live forever. If you want live a long time, become an asshole. I’ve heard those lines from various outlets at different intervals. And the bell of truth is always left echoing in my ear.
I’m my little corner of the universe I have witness ( and experienced myself) countless hardships. Good people suffering seemingly for no reason and irregardless of their hard work and attempts to do better. That is one thing that always makes me bitter. Why do innocent people have to have such a hard time.

Sometimes that makes it hard to care. When you have rich people pampered and everything handled on a silver platter and totally ungrateful. Meanwhile you have children going hungry on the streets. Children forced into lives of crime and abuse.

Then we have media that is a big fat instigator. Media distorts everything.

Ok before i say this next part here is my little disclaimer. I’m not a racist. I know discrimination happens…often.  But,I don’t get the constant racial wars going on. Black vs white. Because when I find out about things I don’t automatically classify people according to the color of their skin. So why do you do it yourself? Why bring race into it at all.  Why isn’t it person did this to that person?If i’m watching the news and they say a girl a was raped. I relay that news a girl was raped. I don’t care if she was white or black or orange. I don’t care what color the rapist is. That girl is forever traumatized. She can never un- experience the assault she just went through. What does color or nationality have to do with anything? A girl was attacked and is suffering and her attacker doesn’t deserve to walk way from hurting another human being.  What color their skin is should have no value whats so ever to the situation.With the whole Trayvon Martin case. It was this whole big case about a “white man” killing a “black “child. Whatever side you take, that’s your opinion. Personally I viewed the case as this. A man shot a child. There was no black or white. And the whole big race thing was blown all over social media. It just made me furious. Why couldn’t people see this as a basic human rights situation. One person shot and killed another person. What the hell does anything else matter?

I’m not expressing this very well. I’m just saying. Why is everyone’s first extinct to classify and categorize and compare.  I see people as people. We are all humans.

It shouldn’t matter the color we bear or the sex we choose to represent or date. We are all human beings.

I see people as my fellow human kind.

I think if everyone wants to focus on color then they should focus on the color ruining our basic human substance . The color of green. Money.

Because, sadly, what it comes down to  how well one can live life is how much money they can make to sustain themselves and their loved ones. I’m sorry to sound all socialist but it’s unfair and in my mind un-human for one to have so much while another has so little.

It’s just so hard for me to see a peaceful world when we classified and subjugated ourselves. We marginalize ourselves with this mentality. We all need to rise above it all. We all need to realize we are all human. We all have emotions and needs. We all desire to be happy and not have to fight tooth and nail every single day.

We all deserve Peace.

 

And the only way to get that if is we all start viewing and ACTING like equals.

forpeace6Excerpt Taken directly from Kozo’s page for May B4Peace Challenge:

This month I challenge you to explore how to have peace in relationships or how to have peace at home.
Turn your blog into a relationship advice column. What are the 5 things that make a peaceful relationship? What are the 4 things we can do to become a better partner?
Post a piece of art, a photo, or a video that epitomizes a perfect relationship. Feel free to explain why. (This does not have to be a human relationship.)
Write a letter to the opposite sex or your partner explaining why you love them, but what they need to do for you to keep loving them. This can be a letter to an actual person or to an entire community of people.
Publish a story, poem, song, or video about struggle in relationships and what you learned from this struggle that brought peace into your world.
Publish a post on the greatest love story ever that will inspire us to be more loving.
Rant about what really frustrates you about the opposite sex, relationships, or your partners. (Maybe if we know what is wrong, we can fix it.)
Post anything about the intersection of relationships and peace.

 

 

Dear Cancer:

Fuck you. There. I finally said it. Fuck. You.

Cancer has stressed and strained my relationship. Not so much the illness part. I love him through health and illness. Our love is strong regardless of circumstance. He is my best friend. We will be together always no matter what life throws at us.  But I had to sit back and watch you rip my love apart. You took my strapping young healthy man and torn him down. I used to watch him be a work horse. He loved it. The short time he worked demolition he used to come home with bruised knuckles and shoulders with a light shinning in his eyes telling me how he had to punch out a wall that needed to be torn down or how him and his homies from work  took turns shouldering the wall down.

He loves to work. He loves to labor and sweat and create. Since the day  I met him he was always running off to build or fix things. When we started living together he would go outside to visit a friend in his nice clothes and when he came home he would look like a scared puppy because he was covered in grease from working on a car. His new nice clothes ruined. I couldn’t even get upset about his ruined clothes because his soul was revived. It’s what he loves to do. He didn’t smoke or drink and sure he ate alot of unhealthy food but he was fit and active and always quick to lend a helping hand.

So when he got sick there wasn’t even a transition. One day he was at work. The next day he was in the hospital. He didn’t get to say goodbye to his passions.

Even now a year and half off of treatments and he’s not back to his regular health and stamina. Day by day I have to watch him with longing in his eyes as he stays on the side lines.

That’s what keeps my heart from being peaceful.

You took away my love’s soul. Day by day he wants to go back to work. To be out in the world earning. He wants us to be a proper couple, no longer engaged but married without worrying about the repercussions and being eligible for health insurance or this or that program. He wants to support us and our passions and be free of the chains of “family” and have our little life together. To be out of my mother’s house and have our privacy. To be working up grown adults.I want that too. For both of us to contribute to our little household. It wont be much. But it would be ours to call our own.

Time and time again we cannot reach that goal. Just the other day having a heart to heart the hubby told me how badly he wants to work, to provide, to be happy.  BUt we both know it’s not possible…yet.

So. Fuck You Cancer. For taking that away from him. From us. If you were not in the picture I would of graduated with my bachelors and be well on my way for my Masters Degree and be off living in a cozy apartment with my love and my dog. Yet, here we are just me working a part time retail job. Everything on hold. At a stand still. In a hostile negative environment.

People ask me all the time how I can smoke, having seen the hubby fight through Cancer. Truth is, it was him, the cancer patient, that convinced me to pick up the habit again. I quit for nearly a year. I was smoke free way before he got sick. And it wasn’t until he was almost complete with treatment did i pick it up again. The hubby told me we all get a vice. And you can’t let fear or society or people’s judgement hinder your desires no matter what it is. He told me look at him… never smoked, never drank, never experimented. He got Cancer without the satisfaction of knowing he lived and tried it.  He told me to go ahead if it’s what I wanted to do. I can get cancer with or without the smoking. He told me i deserve a vice. Most importantly he told me I deserved to choose.

That’s what Cancer robbed from us. A Choice.

Without that choice it hinders and obstructs our desires and goals and happiness. It limits the peace we can achieve.

But, that’s why i love the hubby. He puts a smile on his face and does what the doctors tell him to do and he tries. He tries his very best. Friends and family don’t see the daily struggle because he puts on his brave face and puts himself out there. Time and time again.

He’s not a fighter. He’s a warrior. He’s my hero. My love.

Because of him, i’ll know eventually he’ll storm his way onto the other side, the healthy side of Cancer. We’ll get our choice back. We’ll get our happiness back. And when we do, we’ll have Peace. Until then, we never stop fighting for it.

forpeace6I have major catching up to with B4Peace  Monthly’s Posts.  Anyone unfamiliar with B4 Peace Posts , in short it’s a dedication post once a month to peace.  You can follow Kozo to join in the Bloggers For Peace and post a B4 Peace post  according to the theme of the month.

THis is the April B4 Peace topic copied directly from Kozo’s page  

This month’s peace challenge will focus on children.

Publish a post on how to teach children peace. How do we raise children to be peaceful? What do children need to know about peace? How do we teach them what peace means?
Post a children’s story or poem that teaches peace.
Relate a story or experience with children that brings/brought you peace.
Post a peaceful photo or piece of art for/about/featuring children. I like to imagine what photo or piece of art we could put in every child’s room that will create peace
Post anything about the intersection of children and peace.

The other day, I was having a lazy day with the hubby. It was that weird time of day when it’s just after morning talk shows but still too early for afternoon talk shows. So the hubby goes to the music channel and puts on a concert. It was Red Hot Chilli Peppers playing and after watching them play a song a two it started to dawned on me that they were getting old. They are older. I started thinking of all the great rock bands I love, Metallica for example. And I realized alot of them are in their 50’s already. I will outlive the greats.

In thinking about that I started to think about the future. Who will take over the real rock genre? What new bands are there currently? With classic soulful playing yet bad ass drum sets and ear splitting guitar riffs and lyrics that cry to your soul? In this horror moment, i realize we don’t have , currently at-least, new young rock bands that measure up to the kind of music in place. It is highly likely that if i have kids they will never go to a rock concert like I went too. They will never hear true die hard rock music.

I will only have old cd’s to play for them similarly to how my dad only had old records to play for me of his oldies. Most likely my kids will say the same thing ” That’s old people music, if you can even call it music.”

That’s the role children play in today’s world. We will become outdated and replaced. However, the children are left behind. It is up to us WHAT kind of characters we leave behind.

We can sit back and let the world shape our children. We can let the media raise them and pop culture tell them what’s good and what’s “cool”. Or we can step up and lead by example. We can teach and instill our children. We give them room to explore and grow but stay stead fast by their side with encouragement and even disciple when needed.

We teach our children how to rock.

Otherwise, all that matters will be washed out with the test of time.

“This post is in response to the Blog Challenge by Tilda Swift at her blog, Swift Expression. It is my entry for number 10.

If any of my readers derives inspiration from this post and would like to do something similar on their own blog, please provide full credit to the owner of the original Blog Challenge (as state above) to abide by copyright laws.”

http://tfaswift.com/blog-challenge-awards/challenge-rules/


The Question

10. Sit alone and in complete silence doing nothing for 5 minutes. (Make sure that you time it.) Mute your phone, make sure there are no distractions and no noise. Don’t sing, whistle or talk to yourself. There must be silence. No visual distractions either, e.g. reading, magazines, computer, muted TV, etc. Have nothing in your hands and don’t fidget. Do not meditate or close your eyes. Just sit in complete silence doing nothing. When 5 minutes have passed, write about the experience. How did you feel and what were you thinking? If you thought, “I feel ridiculous” or “This is pointless,” explain why.

The Outcome

When I read through the list of challenge question, I thought I would save this one for last.

I’m a punk. I’ve been in a funk and been avoiding my thoughts. My feelings.
Sitting in silence with no background music or tv? No books? That left just me. And my feelings.
I didn’t want to go there.

I had all intentions of saving this for last. But, I inadvertently did this challenge.

I was dragging my feet all afternoon, in a mood and brooding about going to work. I just wanted to stay in bed and force cuddles out of Bianca(my dog) and Omar(hubby). Just lay there watching crap reality tv and maybe eating a pint of ice cream.

But atlas, I need to work( I actually LIKE to work).  So I’m getting ready and I go downstairs and my dad is heading out. He wants to run to the store. So I tell him to go and he should be back in time for me to leave  to head to work.  I’m sitting with my jacket and purse strapped on and absently petting Bianca.

Of course once she realizes I’m not leaving she moves away and I’m left just sitting there.

Tv is off. No music. My phone in my pocket. The ring of silence echos in the room.  I started having imaginary conversations. I do that a lot. I was thinking about going to work and who might be working and what I would say to them if i see them and they speak to me. Nothing major. Just a general “hi tasha” “hi whatever your names is!” “How are you today?!”  “I’m just fine thanks!” That sort of stuff.
Somewhere in  the middle of my imaginary conversations I realized this is a prime time to do the challenge. I’m already sitting her with no distractions.

So I take a deep breath and shut my eyes breathing out deeply. I open my eyes and continue sitting there.

My mind is absolutely racing. Random thoughts. Work that needs to be done.  I was thinking of what I was going to do after work. The errands I need to do. I was planning the stops at the store I would make.

I shake my head.   Stop thinking.

I breathed deeply. And just listened.

I heard a distinct bouncing of a basketball. The neighbor’s kid. They play basketball all times, all seasons. The ball dribbles and dribbles and I hear it. I heard cars zooming by sporadically. Then the TV crackles. It’s off but my dad always has its own. After it’s shut down after being on for so long it always makes noises. The hubby told me it’s the plastic relaxing. He said with the heat and electricity it expands and when it cools offs sometimes it makes a crackle noise while it returns to normal form.

I thought of that.

I sat there and eventually the tornado in my brain and random bits of analyzing everything around me began to slow.

As the seconds ticked by, the thoughts …and feelings…faded.

I stopped thinking. My shoulders sagged in relief.

I breathed a deep breathe. It was refreshing.

I sat there the dribble of the basketball from outside penetrated my ears and the rings of silence from the room becoming louder.

I began to feel sleepy.

I smiled.

My five minutes were up.

I still sat there.

I let my head loll forwards to rest on the fluff of my coat collar.

I heard the front door opening. My dog woke up and started barking and running towards the front door. My dad began crooning to her.

I sighed.

I heaved myself up. Adjusted the strap on of my purse and walked towards the stairs. It was peaceful.  Refreshing in a away. Ironic too. I have been having terrible insomnia. So it figures I would do this and end up feeling relieved, relaxed and sleepy.

So, it was peaceful while it lasted.  But now I’m going to need to stop for coffee before my work shift.

————–

That’s the end of the challenge part, but I’m going to write a bit more because it’s related, sort of.

I always plan to get to work at least an hour early. Usually an hour and a  half early i get there. So I have time to read my book for awhile , away from my house and all its distractions and decompress a bit from all the hustle and bustle of everything. Then half hour to smoke my ciggy, use the restroom , and fix my hair and makeup and that sort of thing.

So today is no different. It’s 4pm and I don’t start work till 6.  I hop off the bus and instead of walking to the middle entrance of the mall from the outside, I walk straight into the front entrance. I weave my way through throngs of people and make my way straight to the back where Dunking Doughnuts is. It’s a side wing to the mall really. It immediately gets quieter with each step towards D&D.  I order a medium coffee and when I  get my coffee I use the side entrance door right there.

It isn’t really populated this part of the mall, this entrance. It has old stone steps and I take a seat on the steps. Across the street is a track and the middle of the track is grass used for sports like baseball and soccer.  I sit there and un-lid my coffee to let some steam out. It’s a little chilly but the cold doesn’t bother me much.  I sip my coffee and then put the lid back on.

It’s quiet.

It’s …slow.

Sure there are cars but it isn’t as loud as the front of the mall. People walk by but sporadically and it’s a sole person not a gaggle of teenagers or mothers towing a row of children.

Then, I had a memory. Of sitting there before.

I sat there before. Doing the same thing. Seeking solace. I sat there and drank from a water bottle. A water bottle filled with liquor, 99 apples.

I remember that day. I left my house to avoid running into family , so I left just before my dad would be coming home from work. But, I wasn’t due to meet my friends till later and I didn’t particularly have anywhere to go, anyone to see. So I sat there and sipped liquor from my water bottle and puffed on ciggys.

I stared across the street to the track, like I was doing in the present, and just allowed myself to be surrounded by calm and silence.

Presently, I sit there thinking how nice it is.  A little chill running through me. I sat there savoring my coffee and savoring the silence.  I pulled out a ciggy and smoked it to the filter. Then, reluctant, I pulled myself to my feet.

It’s 5pm.

I open the mall doors and sighed.

The noise immediately penetrates the haze of peace the silence brought me. It’s almost obnoxious.