Posts Tagged ‘write’


Why hello there wordpressers. Sooo, the blog challenge was an epic fail. A day got away from me…and the days started to add up. Before i knew it, it was a week later.  A blink of the eye, it was two weeks later.

I admit it was a little overwhelming to post everyday for the blog challenge. Previous challenges I have completed, i used to binge write on my days off and schedule them to publish the day off. This time around, I was attempting to write everyday, not in advance.

I admit, I let the fear of the effort it takes to write prevent me from trying. Once i hit two days, I was like OMG i have so much to write I don’t have the energy for it.

It was just a combination of life taking a toll on me. When I came home from work, I was just done for the day. Things at home were hectic too with my dad having surgery.

My head space was not good.

I may have failed.

But, I am not defeated.

I will try again. I’m aiming for the weekend. I already know work this week is jammed packed and I’m putting in extra time so I’m not going to even bother to set myself up for that failure. But, no plans this weekend. Three day weekend at that. So, that’s the goal I’m aiming for.

I’m thinking of picking up from where I left off with the 30 day challenge.


I’m sorry to disappoint to the few people that were following my daily challenge. But, stay tuned, it’s not over yet.

writing , writing prompt , writing challenge

Day 10: What is your guilty pleasure?

I think most of my guilty pleasures could be summed up in a previous post i wrote earlier in this challenge : comfort foods.


I would like to add two more things

  1. Alcohol. I’m a drinker. I love to drink. I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t get to drink often anymore, the whole being a responsible adult and all that. Plus, I get hangovers now. Part of getting older i guess. I miss the days of slamming back shots and not have to worry about puking or feeling like death the next day. When i drink i have to plan proper recovery time.
  2.  Lazy Day. I know this  is odd for a guilty pleasure. But, usually as adults your day off from work is reserved for errands, chores and stuff you put off all week. My guilty pleasure is saying eff it. Leaving the dust for another day and have a stay in pj’s and in bed day with the hubby and dog and binge watching netflix.  Just thinking about it I’m already sighing in the relaxing thought.


I zipped up my hoody and burrowed in its fleece trying to block out the autumn nightly chill. My feet drag and echo with each step. After working a full retail shift and staying late to clean up, my feet were ready for some TLC with my bed and be cocooned in a blanket.

Funny, i had to wait in line to leave the store, all employees rushing to head home. But, as I walk to the other side of the parking garage no one is coming and going. I am alone.

My steps continue to echo and my messenger purse bounces slightly against my side. A ghost of my breath whispers in the air. Just cold enough to give it sight, but not yet winter so it isn’t fully a cloud of smoke in the air. Just the silence of the night and emptiness of the parking lot makes it easy to hear the ever so slight exhales of my breath.

Out of the corner of my eyes i see  movement.

I whip my head around but all is still. Not even any cars left on this level (the fourth level) of the parking garage.


My feet protest but i stop crawl walking and pick up the pace. I’m about hallway to the other side of the garage, towards the exit.
That’s when i hear it. Shuffling. The faintest sound of quiet feet. Sure feet. Feet that don’t want to be heard.

I whip around again , a full 180 and come to a complete stop in walking  and fully expect to see Michael Myers or Jason  standing RIGHT in front of me.

But, nothing. I strain my eyes looking behind pillars and the the ramps going to the different levels. Looking for a sign of…anything.

Completely freaked out, i turn around and  i speed walk. I hear the shuffling more frantic. Too scared to turn around again, i dash the last few feet to the exit. It’s not a real exist really, it’s a little turn off from the wide open parking garage  a short hallway that leads to a set of stairs and then a few feet from the stairs an elevator.

I press the elevator button repeatedly, torn between running down the stairs or knowing the elevator should be at the landing or close too. Work etiquette, whoever leaves from my store and takes the elevator down would press the button to send the elevator back up to our floor.  And the stairs are closer to the garage opening. The elevator is a few precious feet back.

For a tense 10 seconds i stare at the garage opening and listen intently. The slightest whisper of movement i hear. My heart thumping , my breathing labored from anxiety.

The ding of the elevator makes me jump out of my skin.

I couldn’t help it, I look one last time and a shadow is turning the corner.

Then all of a sudden i hear


My eyes drop to the floor and i see a pigeon running at me.

I duck in the elevator and  the elevator beeps and the doors start to close. The last thing i saw was a pigeon standing before the elevator with it’s wings outspread.

With the elevator starting its descend I couldn’t help it, I started laughing right then and there. I just was stalked and chased and ran from a pigeon.

* This was written to part take in Jenni’s Weekend Funny Challenge over on Unload and Unwind*

*In response to Saturday’s (I’m a day early) Stream of Consciousness  prompt hosted by Linda over on LindaGHill

Topic: Write or right in any of it’s definitions.

The right to write immediately forms in my head.  Writing used to be my religion. As word lovers and crafters, we just want the freedom to express , no matter the venue.

In highschool, i was part co-founder of a Creative Writing group. I’ve always been more of prose writer, diary style. I did write poetry as well. I wrote alot of slam poetry( better known as spoken word).  In highschool, it was a blast. We had amazing teachers and an awesome diverse club.

Until the principle censored two poems that were going to be published in the literary magazine.

I never forget that day. The tears of my friends. Grown adults insulting the creative work of teenagers calling it smut. And I’ll never forget our mentors pulling us off school grounds and taking us to a dinner and sliding a phone number across the table.

The phone number for the New York Civil Liberties Union.

My peers and I received help for NYCLU who promptly contacted out school. We published the censor poems in a booklet and handed them out, just outside legal grounds of the school.

I wish I could say we made a real change in the school. But, it was weeks from graduation ( it was our senior year) and all that we really accomplished was the administration caving a bit and humoring us until we were out the door.  We did stand up for ourselves, for that I’ll always be proud, and we did inspire the creative writing members we left behind. Our writings are left behind too.

As I grow older, i know understand freedom of speech is such a double edged sword. Just as fierce as our young selves fought to have poems published in print, just as fiercely others fight to have their propaganda and hate printed and spread.  Even if it’s harmless, like religious pushers.

I had a lady run frantically through a crowded mall to thrust an unwanted flyer in my hand….and then run off without saying a word to me. I looked at the flyer and it said ” God’s path to Salvation from sin”

I snickered.

Guess i look a sinner.

We all just want to express ourselves. If i want to publish meaningless words, I have the right too. But then I have to stand back and let others do the same, even if it’s against my beliefs.  Even if it’s harmful and full of hatred.

The right to write. I wish it was just one sided, all the indie writers finally coming to light. But, with a door open it allows entry to anyone. We cannot be a hypocrite and pick and choose who walks through that door.

The only thing we CAN choose is how to react, or better yet, not react when we come across something different from our point of view.


Happy Anniversary to my Blog!

4 Years ago I have stared this blog. I admit, i took year sabbaticals and months of not blogging at all. But, i always find my way back to blogging.

Tell me Bloggers, why do you blog?

I blog because I love to share. Sometimes i need to vent more than a facebook status. Sometimes I just want to ramble without judgement. Sometimes I just want to reach other people. Most of the time, i just like to read other people’s blog. I like to be welcomed into others personal worlds and maybe share a feeling and a few words with them. I welcome others to do the same with me and my blog.

I know i keep saying this, but i really am trying to be a better blogging. Be here more. Stay connected. I tend to be a silent blogger alot. But, I’m trying.  It’s been years and I’m still here.

So happy blog anniversary to me!  I’ll think I’ll celebrate a little today. Happy Blogging!

Every year for as long as I can remember Novermber has the month of writing. National Novel Writing Month aka Nanowrimo ( and you’ve probably seen all kinds of abbreviations for it nano writing, nanomo  etc etc) Every year, i say I will join in and every year I never do.  It’s on my bucket list.

But, being a writer and avid reader it’s something that makes me happy. To see my social networking and forums and just the internet a buzzing with frantic people in creative overdrive. Every year. I know of published achieved authors that use Nanowrimo to fast draft their books and even use the process of writing for nanowrimo throughout the year to fast draft manuscripts.

So while it is something I do wish to officially part take in one day. This year, for the first time, I saw a blogging version of this.


National Blog Writing Month. Instead of having a word count each day, you post a blog post everyday for the whole month.


So now, not only is my social networking and forums sites going off all this month, my blog apparently is too.

I do admit there is an appeal to it. Maybe I’ll jump into the challenge late in the game. I have been needing a dire kick of motivation to get back into the game. Maybe this is it.

To my new Followers!

Thank you for following my blog, especially during a time I have been severely disconnected from blogging. So please, if you have followed me in the period of the last few months please drop me a line or blog link so I can visit your page and follow you back!

The past few months I have been just been skimming my reader and I’ve missed so much. So many new followers and now I’m having troubling of picking everyone out.

But, I’m back and trying to connect! I caught up with Bloggers for Peace and Matter’s Most. I will get back to posting regularly. I’m working to reconnect with people I follow and those that follow me.

I know alot of people are following me and I am not following them but I also have pusedo blogs ( the advertisements and bots ) in my followers lists and its hard to weed out the real ones and the fakes ones.

So one more time, bare with me! Help me out and point me in the right direction.

Have a post I missed and know I would love to read? Have a post you just want seen? I’m not following you but you are following me? Drop a link. I’ll be more than happy to read anything.

I just want to sincerely thank you all for being so patient and considerate with me. I can’t believe i got so many new followers when I was an absent blogger. It means the world to me!  I have noticed and I do care.

Lets connect and get back to blogging!


Hey ya’ll!

Sorry I have been quiet as of late. I have been working a few extra days. I’m only up to 25 hours a week but it’s retail so it usually late night hours which means sleeping in a bit and then waking up to shower and eat and walk and feed the dog before i head back to work. So, by time i hobble in around midnight I don’t have the mental energy to sit down and write.

But, i won’t let my blog die. I will update on my next set of days off. I owe you guys two “Bloggers for Peace” posts. And my May “Matters Most” post. And a  general  overall update.

So please be patient with me. I will go around to your blogs as well and get caught up on your ramblings as well.

I miss you all.Drop me a line in the comments! I miss hearing from you all!

Talk to you all soon!


My Dear Readers!

So, I have finished the current Blog Challenge hosted by Swift Expression. I know my posts are primarily entries for that blog challenge. So I would like to give a little update about my blog.

What’s to come
1)I will be writing up my first Matters Most Post.

Matters Most is the trend I am starting ( part of the swift expression blog challenge was to start a trend) and if you would like to join in and post something similar on your blog I encourage you to do so. My goal for Matters Most is to show tribute to those who are consistently there for me via blogging. Some see low numbers, low stats, low amount of followers. Some people say” only a few people commented on this blog, I”m so sad!”. My goal is eliminate that attitude. To bring back appreciation to blogging. Weather it is one like, one comment, one follower- or it’s thousands. It doesn’t matter. Someone, somewhere took the time to visit your blog. Matters Most is for those people. Those who took precious time to share their love with me. It’s to say I am thankful and giving you a little spotlight of fame in my monthly post. You can read more about Matters Most here

2)I owe you guys a B4 Peace post for March. And April is tomorrow so shortly a prompt will be published  for April and I would have to write an April B4 Peace Post as well.

3)I also have one journal entry to type up( it’s from last week Tuesday and I  plan on doing that today) and publish and it seems Tuesdays is my writing in my journal day because I work mornings so I may have another journal entry for you soon if I write again this coming Tuesday.

4)Not this week coming up ( today is Sunday in my part of the world) but next week I have 3 days off in a row so I plan to tackle the Arts and Crafts project for the Swift Expression Blog challenge I have completed ( it was the only prompt I didn’t do out of all 12)

5) Finally, Swift Expression is thinking of releasing “Lite Writing Prompts” weekly, and if she does I will definitely be engaging in those.

So, that’s my little blogging update and what’s yet to come from my Corner of Confessions! Is there anything you would like me to do? Write about? See more off? See less off? Drop me a line in the comments! I write for myself, but I also would be more than happy to write for my followers as well!

Happy Blogging Everyone!



Friday March 22 2013 5pmdear-journal1

Dear Journal

Hey my friend. So I found some stuff out today and accumulation of stress and now I’m just in a mood. Having my quiet time before work drinking coffee isn’t helping. It’s just festering my sour mood.



I spent the morning on the phone with every fucking agency there is. Apparently because Omar has been on disability for two years they automatically enrolled him in Medicare. But, with Medicare it links his disability status to his eligibility for health insurance. We are trying to get Omar OFF of disability! But, sorry folks, there is no cure for cancer for Omar needs his health insurance for routine check ups and MRI’s. Also, it’s a $120 premium for Medicare monthly.  Omar originally applied to Medicaid , being eligible from being low-income.  The government sevearl times switched and automatically enrolled him based on disability and it took forever , and several times the insurance got cut off, to fix it. But, apparently no one knows what we need to do to fix this.

Almost no one declines Medicare. I guess people are content to be on disability indefinitely and have the liberty to go without insurance. I was transferred back and forth to the same agencies and reps who were clueless. No one could tell me if we decline Medicare would it effect the eligibility for Medicaid. It’s just like when they automatically enrolled Omar in a private insurance, TriCare which is military insurance…when Omar has never served in the military! We were eventually told  to call the social security office and talk to them. I bet you a dollar no one knows what the fuck to do.

Then i saw my mother’s bank statement.  $$ ( dollar amount removed for her privacy). I know it’s not THAT much considering they have no savings, 401k or retirement funds. But, it’s alot. More than she is letting on. She complains daily about not having enough money to make the bills. That bank account alone can make the bills for half a year.  So tell me why she is taking money from me AND Omar? That’s cold.  I’ve been trying to save for Bianca’s vet visit and for her to get spayed. That’s almost a grand total. I had 100 saved but then I used it to give my mother part of the rent money.

( Some stuff removed, for mother’s financial privacy, basically was a tally of the monthly bills and money coming in from her check, my dads and rent check from the apartment downstairs and how it pays all the bills, and basically saying the luxury of the new car Omar is paying for, a car WE can’t use)

I’m not asking for handouts. I don’t want money from her. I just hate that greed and money hungry attitude. It’s vile. It’s one of the very few things I can’t tolerate. It’s bullshit frankly.

It’s time to be a little bit selfish.

It is pay day, so I’m going to go hunt down my pay check.
Tash 5:12pm

Okay I’m back. The cash room was closed. So i went to the operator room to pick up my check  but no one was there. The other room where the operator usually works is under construction so I had no idea where they put this girl. I found the poor girl in a tiny office in the back corner of a stock room. Poor girl . I asked her if she gets lonely. She sadly told me yes. Awe.
I opened my check while chit chatting with her and made a face and said ” my little bit of change” and said she said better than no change.

That’s for damn sure. I need to stop complaining. I have a job.  But what else is a diary for, if I can’t fuss a little bit? I have a few minutes before I can clock in and then wait for the meeting. But, Imma go put my stuff in my locker before it gets crowded in here and I loose my seat. Talk soon journal. Twice in one week! That’s getting better right?

Tash  5:47pm