Posts Tagged ‘cigarettes’

Sons of Anarchy
This post will contain all types of extreme spoilers for the  5th season  that is currently airing , spoilers  up till episode  4 ( there is a 5th and 6th episode in which I have not yet saw).

Sons of Anarchy is known as the biker gang show. But, it so much deeper than that.  It’s a show about brotherhood, survival, betrayal and love. It’s about bonds like no other and sacrifices that are unbearable to make.  I instantly connected to Jax the main character in his pursuit to get out of the gun selling business and reformatting the Sons back to “the real hippy shit” his father wrote about in his manuscript.  Even more, the fierce dedication and loyalty depicted by Jax’s best friend Opie? My favorite character who I held in such high regards you might have though he was real.

The hubby and I found this show and anticipated its premiere in the very first season when it wasn’t even popular. We would anxiously wait for each episode every week and watch the first airing.  Never missing an episode. Everything else would be dropped; the world would seize to exist. It was our time. It was SONS time.

The bond the two of formed over this show was something unexpected. I mean who really connects with a TV show? But, what made this show even more special… the hubby and I both loved this show.  It’s rare for us to have common interests. Sure, we tolerant each other’s interests… and other stuff we politely ignore. That’s being in a relationship.  He loves video games, and computer stuff and tech gear. I can barely update my laptop. I love to read and write. The hubby hasn’t picked up a pen in years. We don’t have to share everything, just support everything we each choose to do. While he watches anime, and MMA and sports, I watch TLC. We do have a few shows we watch together like Nurse Jackie, True Blood and Dexter.  But, it’s still mostly MY shows. He could go without watching. I would throw a fit. So actually having a show in which we both can watch without compromising a little piece of our soul? It almost immediately made watching S.O.A a ritual.  To top it off, like I said, when it first came out no one knew about this show. It wasn’t popular. It was not a bandwagon thing. That made it even more intimate for us. It was OUR show in more ways than one

Having a 5th season of Sons wasn’t always a guarantee. And you can tell from the story line.  It was originally planned for 3 seasons. Which you can tell if you follow the show. Jax got his son back. Opie finally got his revenge. Chips got his revenge and the Irish mob was debunked. The sons got their peace and freedom back.  It was a good conclusion.

So with the start of season 4 we were iffy. We didn’t like the way the story was going. But, like addicts, we couldn’t leave, couldn’t stay away. It turned out to be a pretty decent season, regardless of the new protagonists.

Season 5 came around and my head was twirling. I have no idea what was going on, what was going to happen.  And then the unthinkable happened…

They killed Opie.

I remember watching the episode with the hubby.

We were in bed and I just lit a ciggy. While Jax, Chips , Tig and Opie were locked up, they were trying desperately to stay alive. They were being blackmailed into one of them sacrificing themselves , so the others could live.  Jax as President of the MC would never let a brother a die, so naturally was stepping up to the plate. And  typical true brotherhood fashion, Opie interceded last minute to take the bullet and save Jax.

They threw Opie in a room with a rival gang.. five on one.

I wasn’t nervous.

I lit a ciggy.

Armed with a pipe Opie instantly went off holding his ground.  Like I knew he would.
Then all of sudden, he got hit.
He stumbled.
He got hit again.
Then he fell to knees and looked at his brothers and closed his eyes.

As ash fell from  the ciggy now burning out on its own, we watched as a pipe hit the back of Opie’s head, with an eerily crunching sound echoing through the silence of the tv and silence in the room. Blood sprayed across the tv screen. He fell to the ground.

Water from my eyes began falling joining the fallen ash.

Surely, he would survive albeit being in a coma or something. Right? RIGHT?! It just had to be.
The camera pans outs. The soundtrack remained solemn and quiet. The rival gang members continued stomping out Opie’s body.

I crushed out the burnt out ciggy in the ash tray. Unable to hold back the tears. I barely stammer out a “babe” to the hubby and he was just in as much shock as I was and he said “ not now”. My phone started to buzz.

I only know of one other person that watches this show, my friend from school.
I don’t even know what the text read I just went off” NO fucking way, I will never watch this show again …OPIEEE”

I lit another ciggy.
Hoping, longing, to see Opie alive

As the credits rolled I took a drag from a cig while the silent tears streamed down my face. I wiped the tears from my face and as the commercials erupted breaking the somberness on the screen and in my room I outted my ciggy, which happened to be the last of my pack.

I felt deep in my heart, this would be the last time I watched this show if Opie was really dead. I couldn’t watch this show without Opie. I was planning for this to be my last pack of ciggys that I purchased as well. As the show ended and I outted my last ciggy.  I knew  i still desperately had hope. Hope for a different way. I knew next week I would be back to hope and hope and hope some more they didn’t kill Opie off.  Just like I knew I would find myself at the bodega the next day buying a pack of ciggys.

I bought a pack the next day.

Next week when the episode aired, it was evident they killed Opie off the show. Again, I smoked a ciggy and watched the wake and funeral procession they held within the show. Again, as the show ended I crushed out my ciggy, the last one I had again.

And I knew deep within my heat, this time I wouldn’t return.

I didn’t buy another pack for a week.

I haven’t seen the show since.  To me it’s burned out along with the ash and crumpled buds in my ash tray.