http://artofstumbling.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/liebster/
I will be accepting two awards. Because it seems I can never keep things simple and short, this is for one. The other will follow when I write it up. The fabulous and stunning Art of Stumbling nominated me for The Liebster Award. That was almost two weeks ago. Sorry, I’ve been lazy. But , Thank you my lovely! I appreciate it very much! The other award is from the ever amazing Tilda and I look forward to writing that separate post!
The Rules are :
Answer the 11 questions
Share 11 interesting facts about yourself
Nominate 11 others
Create 11 questions to ask your nominees.
The Questions
1. Your earliest childhood memory?
I wrote a blog about this for one of those Daily Post writing challenges. You can read about it here.
2. Music playing when you made love for the first time, or associated with your first love.
Okay what’s this question asking? First time I had sex, or the first time I THOUGHT I made love but it was infatuation? Or the first time I truly made love? Because there is a very clear distinction in my mind, or at least for the experiences I have had.
Since the first two are darker things that I do not wish to remember, though I never forget no matter how much I try, I choose to write about the happy and bubbly.
The first time the hubby and I had sex…we planned it. Well, I insisted. I was living at my parents and he was living in his apartment two hours away via the ever trusty MTA. The night before I oh so seductively asked him to come over early. Right after my mother leaves for work and I will be home alone. I told him to come prepared. I was too shy to say bring a condom, so i kept saying “come prepared”. I woke up early and showered and shaved and put on my best bra and a skin tight tank top with my boobs practically spilling out. I wore a short mini skirt that I used to wear for clubbing but since I gained weight I don’t wear it out in public anymore, only at home for the hot summer days and you can’t walk around the house naked, just half naked. He was early. As soon as the car left my drive way , I opened the front door for him.
We go up to my room and I don’t remember how it started. We laid in bed and we talked a bit. He asked me if I was sure. I told him Yes. I remember I put on a CD that he burned for me in my stereo but I don’t remember what was actually playing. I was nervous.
We weren’t officially dating yet by the way. I mean were dating but he didn’t ask me to be his lady yet and we weren’t under the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. We have known each other for year or so and have been going out on dates for about a month I believe.
So this was the next step.
When I think of the first time we made love what I remember most is his tenderness. The perfect balance of intensity and lust, but still almost reverent to my body.
After wards, he fell asleep spooning me. I smoked a ciggy while staring at his tattoo arm sprawled across me.
I smiled because he accepted me for me, flaws and all. The cigarette smoke afterwards sealed the deal. I wasn’t “allowed” to smoke with the previous dude.
I wrote a diss poem to the previous guy I had sex with…I just dug it up and here it is: This is circa 2007 so don’t roll your eyes at the writing style. That was advanced writing for the time lol. Spoken word poetry style.
I found out
what I’ve been missing
when
I was left
shaking
from that
good
love making
I knew
what it meant
to be
packing
when
I hit
that
instant satisfaction
I’m not
one
to
Kiss
N
Tell
but
well…
from my experience
I was never
left
O
So
Ss-
sss
speechless
I’m not gunna
name
no names
Just know
honey
you were
put
to
shame
when
I
repeatedly
came
And
Then was spooned
With his glistening
tattoo
And I smoked
my
Marablo
Smooth
3. How you feel about that person now.
The hubby? That’s my poopie head. Love him to death, and then some. The sex is still just as good too though it is not as often as he would like lol.
4. How you feel about that music now.
I don’t remember what actually played. My guess would be Metallica. When we first met he was a big old school rocker. Actually, it’s how he won my heart. He played Nirvana , Come As You Are, for me on his guitar. While my ex( at that time he wasn’t an ex) sat next to me. Calm down, I’m not a cheater and the hubby isn’t a home wrecker. We were friends and he was honest from the start he liked me but wouldn’t push boundaries but would pounce as soon as I was available. I cold of saved myself a lot of time and heartache if I would accepted I liked him too, right after our first meeting but I denied it and denied it and buried it deep down inside. I’m loyal to a fault and think I can fix everything which is why I stayed in the ex-toxic relationship. The same day my ex relationship ended, I called the hubby( we hadn’t spoken in months because he couldn’t take the frustration of the drama that was happening with mutual friends and he just stopped talking to everyone. Shortly after the hubby disappeared from my life, I disappeared from that circle of backstabbers too and carried resentment in my heart for not having the hubby as a friend anymore). He waited a whole 24 hours before he asked me out LOL.
5. Favourite recent song
This is tough. I am so out of touch with music now-a-days. My ipod broke like two years ago. So I haven’t downloaded music since then. I guess when I steal the hubby’s ipod my go to song… Drowning Pool- Feel like I do but that’s not recent.
6. What hurts your feelings most nowadays? One example please!
Money. Lack of money. Usage of money. Fights about money. Just money stuff.
7. What you would like to do next in your life? Okay i read this question as “what would you like to do in your next life”, so that is that answer I written and am keeping cause its deep stuff.
Something…more. I know I am a great person and I inspire my friends both in real life and cyber-ly. I know I am precious the hubby and people I’ve met in hospitals and cancer centers. Yes, I am young. But I am not THAT young anymore. I wish in my next life to have a better row of things. To finish school straight through and go off and do something more, something grander. I’m not talking about being rich and famous. I’m talking along the lines of being a helper. Peace corp? International travel to build schools? Or maybe a center locally that literally takes children in off the streets. Helps them. Reforms them. I hope in my next life I get to help people is more ways that I can and able to in this
8. Are you attracted to your own sex?
Why yes, yes I am. I love the ladies. I check chicks out. They are beautiful. I have made out with a handful of girls in my dating history. Ladies are sexy. When I hit a dry spell lesbian porn always does the trick ( the hubby approves). May I be blunt? The reason I never dated girls is I like the dick too much. Sorry no politically correct way to say that. Or atleast not in the mood I am in ( had a rough morning). I am physically and sexually attracted to my hubby, he is in no way shape or form womanly. If you look up manly, macho or any other of those rugged man descriptions in the dictionary you may find his picture there. He is such a stereotype in that way. But other men? Maybe it’s my love for the hubby but I can not and do not find other men attractive. I look at guys and say and? Or Ew. Mostly ew . But with my bestie( a lesbian) or with my hubby I’m usually the first to point out a good looking lady. Or the covert hottie ( you know the type, it’s probably you if you like my blog. The chick who is sexy but doesn’t know it. Or doesn’t flaunt it is a better way of saying it. The book worm hidden with her hair covering her face , nose in a book. The fashion girl, who dresses oddly to everyone but the combination and colors will be next year trend but for now she is just the odd girl. Or the gym suit girl. Can’t see a curve on her but she is beautiful. I like those girls. The ones who have class. Don’t care what you think. That kind of confidence is sexy and I like that. The hubby jokes that one day he will be packing his bags cause I dumped him for a girl and he wouldn’t even be mad because he knows I’ll pick an amazing chick and he’ll just be like “damn, can I join before I go?” . I truly believe if the hubby and I ever break up or we get taken away from each other I will no doubt give up men and seek a lady. But, my hubby is manly and I love it. I love him. I’m not repressing any feelings or denying any feelings( 97% of my friends are gay and a lot of them pressure me that I’m a lesbian in denial, I have no denial! I love the ladies. I just love my hubby more). He more than fulfills me and satisfies me.
9.What is the worst aspect of the opposite sex?
That entitled self-righteous attitude girls have. It’s predominate in the female gender. They think they are classy but really are trashy. They want to be independent but have ridiculous double standards and expectations for men to jump through. I feel bad for men most of the time and the games and drama and overall cattiness they have to put up with and I thank God every day I am not like.
10. Can pets replace people in your life?
Already have! I rarely see my friends. I miss them sure. But, I can’t go a few hours without seeing my dog. I’m perfectly happy and content to stay home and have the company of my dog. Maybe I’m just getting old.
When i was delusion with fever a few weeks ago I was in bed and in and out of consciousness and I had no idea i taken this picture. Poor doggie.
11. Will you fall in love again?
This is going to sound corny. But I do everyday. I fall more in love every single day. I look at my hubby and my heart races. I even look at my dog and though a different kind of love I feel my heart grow everyday. I tell the hubby ( far too much to his great annoyance) that I feel so much love I think my heart will burst. Now , If I lost the hubby? I seriously doubt I will find love like this again. I’m sure I would find a different kind of love but I just believe we get ONE great love. One. We may love many times before or even many times after but never will it be that ONE great love. The hubby is my great one.
11 Interesting Facts About Myself
Okay now, I have to present you with eleven interesting facts about myself. Some will be secrets.
1) I’ve been every size in the book. And always had the same perception of myself.
2) I’m always told how strong I am, and I know I am. But, inside I’m terrified. I have no clue what I’m doing. I just do it and hope i don’t screw it up or kill anyone I look after in the process.
3)I’m always insecure and think about what other people would think of me. I just decide that i like my opinion more and don’t let it hinder my life or halt me from trying.
4)I only had a pedicure once in my life. I do my toes myself because I’m insecure about my feet and I have a special toe. The nail is funky. Not gross or anything. Just, well it’s special. I don’t want the pedicurist to hurt my feet.
5) I’m hairy. My hair (body hair) grows so damn fast. I love winter because I don’t have to shave every damn day.
6)If I’m honest, I’m embarrassed( a little bit) to be working retail. The girl who was anti-capitalism, protesting everyday is now working in the ultimate consumer franchise.
7) I resent others. I don’t wish them unwell. I just resent them.
8) I bottle up my emotions because of my life circumstance. I don’t like to do it. I advise against it. But i do it because I don’t have the liberty to be upset, especially say like my fiance having cancer. Cancer trumps any tantrum in my book. P.s. he tells me to have my emotions and be upset if I am upset but how can you truly let go and having your whine and mope around for an hour or two when you are always on demand?
9) I smoke. Alot. Remember my resolutions? Quit smoking was one of them. I haven’t made a dent in that resolution yet. Sometimes i go half a day without smoking and go to sleep feeling good about it. Then in the morning i wake up and before i know it i chain smoked all morning. The honest truth? I LIKE to smoke. I hate it but, i like it too.
10)I have been in a funk for the past several months. I don’t have or feel motivation to do much of anything. I just want to work, blog and read. Sleep would be nice too. I haven’t organized paperwork. Or did a real cleaning in months. Just the quick cleaning. But move everything to dust and scrub cleaning? Yeah that hasn’t happened.
11)I’m growing my hair out and i tell everyone it’s so i can donate it. I am going to. Like i did last year. But most of that decision is i refuse to pay for a haircut… it’s severely over priced.
I don’t even know who to nominate. SO I’m bending the rules a bit. Call the blogging police if you like, i don’t care. I just want to reach all my followers. If you would like this award, go ahead and do the steps. You can use the same 11 questions I did for your answers because these were swell questions. And I have another one of these to do so I’m far to lazy to sit and think about 11 more questions. Half of us follow the same people and have the same awards and we nominate each other back and forth. Which is awesome, I love it. But, for those following my blog that i may over look and do not have this award and would like this award. Go ahead. It’s yours. Just answer the 11 questions and share 11 facts about yourself. Happy blogging everyone!
Corner of Confessions 
