Fail

Why hello there wordpressers. Sooo, the blog challenge was an epic fail. A day got away from me…and the days started to add up. Before i knew it, it was a week later.  A blink of the eye, it was two weeks later.

I admit it was a little overwhelming to post everyday for the blog challenge. Previous challenges I have completed, i used to binge write on my days off and schedule them to publish the day off. This time around, I was attempting to write everyday, not in advance.

I admit, I let the fear of the effort it takes to write prevent me from trying. Once i hit two days, I was like OMG i have so much to write I don’t have the energy for it.

It was just a combination of life taking a toll on me. When I came home from work, I was just done for the day. Things at home were hectic too with my dad having surgery.

My head space was not good.

I may have failed.

But, I am not defeated.

I will try again. I’m aiming for the weekend. I already know work this week is jammed packed and I’m putting in extra time so I’m not going to even bother to set myself up for that failure. But, no plans this weekend. Three day weekend at that. So, that’s the goal I’m aiming for.

I’m thinking of picking up from where I left off with the 30 day challenge.

 

I’m sorry to disappoint to the few people that were following my daily challenge. But, stay tuned, it’s not over yet.

Million Dollar Question

Day 9 : If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

 

And that’s the million dollar question. I haven’t quite figured it out what I want my dream career to be.

 

I did enjoy working retail. Not so much the crap pay, hours and crappy people. I did love though, being in charge of my department, maintaining inventory, pricing and visuals. It was my own little world. I was the expert. I love redoing whole fixtures,sizing, restocking and refolding shelves creating  master pieces of displays.  I even loved Black Friday, finding and tossing jeans piles at a time to customers in record time.

I do love my current job, working in  a day service program with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.  It’s rewarding and gratifying work. It’s heart warming and positive. Everyday, i make a difference and that’s a good feeling. It’s tons of fun at times. It’s stressful and a lot of pressure and often times so tiring when you come home from work you have no energy to do anything.

 

But as for life long careers? I’m not sure.

 

I do know, i like to be home. I like to clean. I like to cook. I like home projects. I love tending to the dog. I love to read. I love to write. Ideally, my dream job would give me the ability to work at home, hours of my choice. It would give me freedom and flexibility to volunteer in program like i currently work, animal shelters and green earth organizations.  I just want the financial security and the freedom to invest in things I love and have the ability to satisfy all my humanitarian interests.

Do you know what the job is ? I sure haven’t figured it out…

SOCS- Book

This a writing Challenge developed by Linda. Please review how to participate over at her blog. You can find her page here.Here is a hardcopy of the link:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 4/16

 

Today’s prompt is Book.

When i read the word book i can’t help it , I smiled. I’m a book collector. I love to read. However , i binge read. Due to real life , i haven’t had the luxury to read the way  i like to. It’s not enough for me to read a few pages before i take the dog out or read a few chapters while commuting.

That’s a tease.

I like to read chucks at a time. I don’t HAVE to read a book in one sitting.  Part of the reading experience for me is being lost to the world created. I’m not turning pages. I’m ducking behind bushes with the main character or driving behind the wheel of the car. I get lost within the binds of the books. I don’t just read about the world,  i escape and live there.  For me, that’s reading.

 

To be able to read my way, i have to read more than a few pages at a time. I have to be lulled into a rhythm and the real world fades and dissipates and life no longer is nagging in my ear. I escape.

I enjoy experiencing a book this way. People ask how you can read a crappy book. This is how. Once I’m thrust into world, i see it through.
Reading is my ultimate passion. Books are my most treasured possessions. To me , books are the gatekeepers to other worlds.

Mother Nature Invaded . One Liner Wednesday.

3am coldness splashed my face awakening me from precious slumber and I jot up screaming thinking my ceiling was leaking but came to discover mother nature was invading through the wide open window.

One Liner Wednesday, run on sentence addition. Visit here for other participants.

One-Liner Wednesday – A deal that makes no sense

6 years Blog Anniversary

Today is a big blogging day! It’s my Blog Anniversary. 6 years, wow. I have to admit though i take 3-6 months off from blogging at a time so it’s not a consistent 6 year run. Plus, for almost a year I had a separate diet blog.  But, regardless , I always find my way back to my blog. I feel like my blog is a diary that always faithfully awaits for me to touch it’s pages.

I sure have met some great people via blogging and got a brief experience of your lives and cultures and that alone is amazing and I’m forever grateful for.

Today is also the final day for Just Jot It Jan. This has been the first time in a long while, maybe years, where I have blog and posted consecutively. I usually tend to be more of a reader and commentator than a poster but this challenge had me doing both every single day. It was a great challenge with a great community that I will miss. I missed only two prompts , the two Saturdays because that’s my sleep in day and catch up on quality time with the hubby day. Otherwise, i completed each and every prompt and it’s feels good to have finished the challenge and not given up mid way which i usually do during challenges.

Overall, I have big plans for my blog and I hope this year to see it through.

So thank you wordpress, for being my faithful diary through and through.

Title. Stream of Consciousness Saturday/Just Jot It Jan 9th

Today for Just Jot It January, we will be combining Stream of Consciousness Saturday and JusJoJan.

The prompt for today is “Title”.

I actually struggled with this post. The goal is to jot down the first movie title that popped into your head and use that title in your post. Doesn’t necessarily have to be about the actual movie, you could drop the movie title in your post or write a post with the theme of the title. Get creative. But also this is a stream of consciousness writing.

My problem is, I’m not much of a movie watcher anymore. I don’t go to the movies, unless its for work and I’m taking a group and even then my clients choose the movie. At home, sure the hubby and I will watch a movie from time to time but we’re more of TV shows people. So, I’m sitting here trying to will a specific movie title to pop into my head.

Then, it was like flashes. Different scenes from movies were passing through my head. I felt like I was there with a net chasing trying to catch one. Still, not a specific movie was standing out.

Finally, one movie title became clear and focused. Fantastic Four.

Well, hell i couldn’t even tell you the correct tittle to the movie. It was the second Fantastic Four movie that was released over the summer. I couldn’t even tell you what the movie was about. I have never saw it.

I bet your wondering why this movie, out of all the actual movies I have saw, is popping out in front of all the others.

As you may know from previous posts, I work for a day services program.  Confidentiality and all that, I can’t give to much details. But, I have a client who is deaf. He doesn’t know English well, he is learning to read and write. He doesn’t know sign language either. He’s learning a little everyday. He’s eager to learn. It’s very hard to communicate with him. I know some American sign language and I try my best to teach signs to him. We mostly communicate with affiliation and visuals.  It makes it hard to get to know him and his interests. Most of the time, he’s a loner and content to use a computer or draw in his notebook.

One day during an outing he scared the hell out of me. He ran ahead of the group. I was like oh crap, I’m going to loose him and was having a mini panic attack. Obviously he’s deaf so i cannot call out after him. I just so happened to also have a wheelchair client that day so i couldn’t exactly ditch my wheel chair client and run after him. Thus, i had a deer and headlights moment as i realized how bad this situation is. Then as fast and randomly as he took off running, he stopped in the middle of a crowded busy street, about faced, scanned the crowd until he made eye contact with me and started  wildly waving and pointing across the street. I was too deer and headlights mode to do anything other than look to where he was gesturing . It was a city bus. The ad on the city bus was for a moving coming soon: Fantastic Four.

Then he started signing one of the few signs he knows “Good”.

When we got back to the office he ran inside and went straight to the DVD player we had and fused about looking through the DVD’s. He found the original Fantastic Four dvd and with the biggest smile ever was signing Good over and over.

When the new Fantastic Four movie came out, i requested he be taken to the movies to see it. I didn’t personally get to take him, but he did get to go.

For weeks he drew and colored various Fantastic Four symbols in his notebook.

Then, out of nowhere, he discovered Dr. Who and Fantastic Four is a thing of the past.

Please Visit Linda’s page to join in Just Jot It January and Stream of Consciousness Saturday

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Jan. 9/16

Robust. Just Jot It January 7th

Robust.

It just may be that my mind is in the gutter, but, I always thought robust was a naughty word. Go ahead, say the word aloud. It just rolls off the tongue all sensual.  Robust…it’s just a word that invokes the senses and brings a sultry vibe.

Some words just have that affect. Another word for me that is instant naughty correlation  is: moist.

Both are perfectly good appropriate words. But something about these words just infer something other. They invoke emotions.

Am I the only one to feel this way? Is my mind completely in the gutter? Do you have any words that are innocently  naughty?

Visit Linda’s page for all the participants in Just Jot It January.

Just Jot It January 7th – Robust

Close Encounter

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I zipped up my hoody and burrowed in its fleece trying to block out the autumn nightly chill. My feet drag and echo with each step. After working a full retail shift and staying late to clean up, my feet were ready for some TLC with my bed and be cocooned in a blanket.

Funny, i had to wait in line to leave the store, all employees rushing to head home. But, as I walk to the other side of the parking garage no one is coming and going. I am alone.

My steps continue to echo and my messenger purse bounces slightly against my side. A ghost of my breath whispers in the air. Just cold enough to give it sight, but not yet winter so it isn’t fully a cloud of smoke in the air. Just the silence of the night and emptiness of the parking lot makes it easy to hear the ever so slight exhales of my breath.

Out of the corner of my eyes i see  movement.

I whip my head around but all is still. Not even any cars left on this level (the fourth level) of the parking garage.

Weird.

My feet protest but i stop crawl walking and pick up the pace. I’m about hallway to the other side of the garage, towards the exit.
That’s when i hear it. Shuffling. The faintest sound of quiet feet. Sure feet. Feet that don’t want to be heard.

I whip around again , a full 180 and come to a complete stop in walking  and fully expect to see Michael Myers or Jason  standing RIGHT in front of me.

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But, nothing. I strain my eyes looking behind pillars and the the ramps going to the different levels. Looking for a sign of…anything.

Completely freaked out, i turn around and  i speed walk. I hear the shuffling more frantic. Too scared to turn around again, i dash the last few feet to the exit. It’s not a real exist really, it’s a little turn off from the wide open parking garage  a short hallway that leads to a set of stairs and then a few feet from the stairs an elevator.

I press the elevator button repeatedly, torn between running down the stairs or knowing the elevator should be at the landing or close too. Work etiquette, whoever leaves from my store and takes the elevator down would press the button to send the elevator back up to our floor.  And the stairs are closer to the garage opening. The elevator is a few precious feet back.

For a tense 10 seconds i stare at the garage opening and listen intently. The slightest whisper of movement i hear. My heart thumping , my breathing labored from anxiety.

The ding of the elevator makes me jump out of my skin.

I couldn’t help it, I look one last time and a shadow is turning the corner.

Then all of a sudden i hear

CoooCOOOOOOHHH !

My eyes drop to the floor and i see a pigeon running at me.

I duck in the elevator and  the elevator beeps and the doors start to close. The last thing i saw was a pigeon standing before the elevator with it’s wings outspread.

With the elevator starting its descend I couldn’t help it, I started laughing right then and there. I just was stalked and chased and ran from a pigeon.

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* This was written to part take in Jenni’s Weekend Funny Challenge over on Unload and Unwind*
http://jenniferann1970.wordpress.com/weekend-funny-challenge/

The right to write.

*In response to Saturday’s (I’m a day early) Stream of Consciousness  prompt hosted by Linda over on LindaGHill
http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-2914/

Topic: Write or right in any of it’s definitions.

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The right to write immediately forms in my head.  Writing used to be my religion. As word lovers and crafters, we just want the freedom to express , no matter the venue.

In highschool, i was part co-founder of a Creative Writing group. I’ve always been more of prose writer, diary style. I did write poetry as well. I wrote alot of slam poetry( better known as spoken word).  In highschool, it was a blast. We had amazing teachers and an awesome diverse club.

Until the principle censored two poems that were going to be published in the literary magazine.

I never forget that day. The tears of my friends. Grown adults insulting the creative work of teenagers calling it smut. And I’ll never forget our mentors pulling us off school grounds and taking us to a dinner and sliding a phone number across the table.

The phone number for the New York Civil Liberties Union.

My peers and I received help for NYCLU who promptly contacted out school. We published the censor poems in a booklet and handed them out, just outside legal grounds of the school.

I wish I could say we made a real change in the school. But, it was weeks from graduation ( it was our senior year) and all that we really accomplished was the administration caving a bit and humoring us until we were out the door.  We did stand up for ourselves, for that I’ll always be proud, and we did inspire the creative writing members we left behind. Our writings are left behind too.

As I grow older, i know understand freedom of speech is such a double edged sword. Just as fierce as our young selves fought to have poems published in print, just as fiercely others fight to have their propaganda and hate printed and spread.  Even if it’s harmless, like religious pushers.

I had a lady run frantically through a crowded mall to thrust an unwanted flyer in my hand….and then run off without saying a word to me. I looked at the flyer and it said ” God’s path to Salvation from sin”

I snickered.

Guess i look a sinner.

We all just want to express ourselves. If i want to publish meaningless words, I have the right too. But then I have to stand back and let others do the same, even if it’s against my beliefs.  Even if it’s harmful and full of hatred.

The right to write. I wish it was just one sided, all the indie writers finally coming to light. But, with a door open it allows entry to anyone. We cannot be a hypocrite and pick and choose who walks through that door.

The only thing we CAN choose is how to react, or better yet, not react when we come across something different from our point of view.

 

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my Blog!

4 Years ago I have stared this blog. I admit, i took year sabbaticals and months of not blogging at all. But, i always find my way back to blogging.

Tell me Bloggers, why do you blog?

I blog because I love to share. Sometimes i need to vent more than a facebook status. Sometimes I just want to ramble without judgement. Sometimes I just want to reach other people. Most of the time, i just like to read other people’s blog. I like to be welcomed into others personal worlds and maybe share a feeling and a few words with them. I welcome others to do the same with me and my blog.

I know i keep saying this, but i really am trying to be a better blogging. Be here more. Stay connected. I tend to be a silent blogger alot. But, I’m trying.  It’s been years and I’m still here.

So happy blog anniversary to me!  I’ll think I’ll celebrate a little today. Happy Blogging!

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